so you know that band that you loved when you were like thirteen or fourteen and you thought they were the coolest kids EVER to ever ever ever exist on the entire planet and their music really spoke to you and all of that lovely shit?
yes well that band for me is simple plan.
please laugh all you want.
can't change the past, right? might as well embrace it.
anyways. so their new single "when i'm gone." it's different. actually it's very different from their usual style. i miss their old style. a lot. but i give them kudos for them trying new things. that's what being a musician is all about.
but goddddd their new CD cover.
like. it looks. like. they were just joking.
but. then i realized.
they were serious.
and i slapped my forehead and just went "oh god."
it's basically them. standing there. attempting to look badass.
with tons of burning buildings behind them.
and i think. it's pretty awesome. for. like. i don't know. a gag?
i mean it's cute. and all.
but they pretty much look like idiots.
apparently now pierre (yes his name is pierre. how effing badass is that?) has posted a blog on his myspace, all offended and hurt that no one likes the album cover.
and i feel kind of bad for disliking it...
it's just not very professional...
it's almost as if they're giving out permission slips for people to make fun of them.
but BAD ALBUM ART OR NOT. I WILL STILL LOVE THEM.
stupid boys.
can't they mature?
they're like almost thirty.
S:LDKJFSKL:DJFSKLDJF.
BOYS.
honestly.
their lyrics basically have not matured at ALL since album number one. which makes me sad. because they have a lot of potential. they just need to. fucking MATURE.
and they have sparks of maturity every once in awhile.
like "perfect." great song. could have been deeper, but it was great with what they had to work with.
and "untitled" was gorgeous. makes me cry. and actually a lot of the songs on the second record were really good. i mean, i think the lyrics could definitely still be worked on and made to be on a deeper level...
but the new single seems to be a step backwards as far as maturity goes.
but the trying-new-things. i commend them for that.
random music rant.
their music video.
is nice. something.
i'm done.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
number sixteen
alsjdklfjaskldjflsdOHMYFUCKINGGOD.
HEROES.
WAS.
SO.
SLDKJFSKLDJ.
slash i'm kind of overexaggerating here.
that's supposed to be two words.
BUT WHATEVER.
it was pretty damn awesome all the same.
first of all WTF.
IS. ADAM. GOOD. OR. EVIL?!
is he really trying to release the virus or to destroy it?
i mean come on. why the HELL would he want to release it?
so he could kill everyone?
what's the point in that?
even if he survives because he's like awesome and can regenerate and survive for 400 years and STILL look GODDAMNSMEXY, everyone would be dead.
then it wouldn't matter if he was sexy.
because he wouldn't have anyone to fuck.
i mean, come on, love.
common sense.
everything revolves around sex.
UNLESS.
(i mean everything still does revolve around sex)
but what if he wants to release it...
so that he can be like "MY BLOOD IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE YOU! YOU MUST COME TO ME! BAHAHAH."
but even still. you can only create so much blood. and the virus basically kills EVERYONE.
so. that fails.
so. is adam manipulating peter to do bad things? and convincing him that it's for the greater good?
because i can totally see that happening.
like adam being like "no, no! we're doing it to SAVE people!"
because peter ALWAYS falls for stuff like that. i mean he can't help it.
he's like harry potter.
he's got the biggest hero complex ever.
anyways, so he could be THINKING he's doing something good, but he could actually be doing something BAD.
or at least "bad" in other people's minds.
like surresh. is that how you spell it?
well that's how it sounds.
he's hot too.
this whole show is like chock full of hot men. i LOVE it.
and the girls are hot too.
wtf.
hot men:
SYLAR (omgwewillgettothatrantinasecond)
peter petrelli (gorgeoussss. hello. milo)
surresh (loveeee his accent)
ADAM (god his accent is to die for too)
DL Hawkins (so pissed he's dead. he was hot too)
west (so jealous of claire)
matt parkman (i've always found him adorable and attractive. i have no idea why. i know. it's weird. whatever. he's adorable. admit it)
noah bennnet (also. i know. odd. but he's attractive in an older-man kind of way. plus i love the name noah)
ando (i love him. the end)
hiro (not hot. but he is adorable. so that counts)
nathan petrelli (omg how could i forget hiiiiim?!)
alejandro (gorgeous. too bad he's dead.)
i can't think of anyone elseeee...
hot girls:
hayden paniterrie (can't spell her last name, but no one can spell mine either so. deal. um she is GORGEOUS. i LOVE her.)
kristen bell (hello. also gorgeous.)
ali larter (helloooooo she played in legally blondeeeee. totally amazing)
[i love how i'm using the girls' real names. random]
the girl from new orleans whose name i can't remember (totally gorgeous. love her as st. joan. plus her power kicks ASS. her story line's getting old though.)
maya (totally gorgeous. plus she got to EFFING MAKE OUT WITH SYLAR)
that girl... CANDACE! she was pretty. until sylar killed her.
that other girl. who was next to surresh in season one. i think sylar killed her too. whoops.
issss that it?
possibly.
anyways. something.
ANYWAYS.
yes the show is FILLED to the brim with BEAUTIFUL people.
it's like a requirement.
why can't life be more like TV, huh? whyyy?
so anyways.
so hiro vs. peter.
my money's on peter, personally. i mean. he can do anything hiro can. plus hiro's just got a sword.
claire's apparently going to tell the world her secret to get back at elle and her dad for killing her dad? good luck with that...
her crying scene with his ashes would have been better if we didn't know he wasn't DEAD.
but. i love noah. so i'm glad he's alive again.
i'm almost kind of glad sylar killed alejandro. as sad as it was. and by sad i mean bloody. and by bloody i mean awesome.
because it made sylar all evil again.
and he's really ridiculously creepy when he's evil.
and really hot.
and OH MY GOD HE TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT.
AND HE WAS WET FROM THE SHOWER.
good LORD ALMIGHTY SOMEONE LOVES ME.
ilovezacharyquinto.
he's got a really distinct kind of look. it kind of has to grow on you.
he and maya better have like awesome evil sex.
i would.
but i mean that's just me.
have i mentioned adam's hot too? because he totally is. i'm kind of in love with his accent. like a lot. it's to DIE for.
i hope elle totally bitch slaps her dad too. and rebels.
AND OMG SYLAR DON'T HURT MOLLY.
because-- WAIT OMG WHERE THE HELL WAS MATT?!
Sylar: I told the babysitter to take the night off.
was MATT THE "BABYSITTER"?!?!?!
DID HE KILL-- wait no. he couldn't have.
maya was with him.
i don't remember where matt is.
oh right he's got that new mind power that he's totally going to end up abusing. i don't want him to end up like his daaaaad. which is what he's going to do if he doesn't keep himself in check.
oh wait. he was talking to mrs. petrelli last time, no? i don't remember. but he's out of town on FBI business... awesome.
okay.
good. matt's safe.
BUT SYLAR'S GOT MOLLY.
and SURRESH HAS TO GET THE VIRUS THING TO ALI LARTER! OR ELSE SHE DIES!
but surresh has to get back to new york (are they in new york? i think so. they must be) to save molly and face sylar again!
SURRESH PLEASE GIVE THE STUFF TO ALI FIRST. PLEASE!
AND SYLAR PLEASE TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT AGAIN.
BECOME LIKE MILO AND JUST DON'T WEAR ONE. LIKE AT ALL.
OR LIKE DOMINIC!
and just wear your shirt-- no matter WHAT shirt it is-- NEVER FULLY CLOSED.
i swear to god, if he wore a pull-over shirt, he'd rip it.
stupid, fucking hot man.
THERE'S another show with some hot men. or at least very attractive. let's name them.
DOMINIC/lincoln- basically no words needed. the end.
wentworth miller/michael- lord that boy is hot.
sucre- niiiiiiiiice body. plus. his character is so endearing. you just want to HUG him. ("look mami! llamas!" "sucre, those are alpacas." "that's what i said! a pack of llamas!")
whistler- GOOD LORDDDDDDDD. that kid needs to take his shirt off more often. CHRIST. hiding all that under that shirt. SHAME.
kellerman- completely amazing. and very attractive. too bad they KILLED HIM. LSKDJFKLSDJ.
LJ- I LOVE LJ! he's so CUTE.
c-note- baaaah i wish they'd give him a cameo in the third season. i miss him. he was fine.
william fletcher/mahone- i have a total crush on mahone. so not afraid to admit it. i have no idea why besides he is a complete BADASS and just. i find him attractive in an older-guy sort of way. maybe i'm the only one. but. whatever. he makes MY list.
whooooo elseeee?!
lincoln and gretchen need to have hot angry sex.
and whistler should have sex with anything that moves.
and SARA SHOULD COME BACK TO EFFING LIFE SO SHE AND MICHAEL CAN MAKE LOVE. WAAAAAAAAAAH.
everything revolves around sex.
it really, really does.
*sigh*
ryan reynolds is also a sex god.
just FYI.
http://www.ryanreynoldsonline.com/
ohmyeffinggod.
please just. look at that picture at the top.
with the green string around his wrist.
like.
WHAT THE FUCK.
it is NOT fair for someone to be THAT hot and SO unattainable.
it's just not.
bahhhhh the nin9s is coming out on DVD in like two monthsssssss... so LONG.
and his new movie has abagail breslin.
um.
hello.
WIN.
PLUSITHASRYANREYNOLDSINIT.
in which he makes out and has sex and discusses threesomes.
"what's the boy word for slut?"
"... they still haven't come up with one yet."
i love that man.
so much.
alanis morissette is such a lucky bitch.
so fucking lucky.
wait. i just read his wiki (yes i AM a stalker. shutthefuckupalready)
they ended their engagement. damn.
WAIT HE'S DATING SCARLETT JOHANSSON?!
OHMYGOD.
MOST BEAUTIFUL COUPLE EVER.
aslkfdjlasjdlfkjdkj.
what i would not give for a piece of that tail.
honestly.
okay i think i am done getting rid of my sexual tension now.
thanks for reading.
i miss prison break.
:(
OH AND AMAZING NEW EPISODE OFFFFF SVU TOMORROW.
OHMYGOD.
OLIVA OR WIFE?!
OLIVA OR WIFE?!
WHICH ONE, ELLIOT?! WHICH ONE?!?!?!?
*pstOLIVApst*
they need to have hot sex too.
EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND SEX.
HEROES.
WAS.
SO.
SLDKJFSKLDJ.
slash i'm kind of overexaggerating here.
that's supposed to be two words.
BUT WHATEVER.
it was pretty damn awesome all the same.
first of all WTF.
IS. ADAM. GOOD. OR. EVIL?!
is he really trying to release the virus or to destroy it?
i mean come on. why the HELL would he want to release it?
so he could kill everyone?
what's the point in that?
even if he survives because he's like awesome and can regenerate and survive for 400 years and STILL look GODDAMNSMEXY, everyone would be dead.
then it wouldn't matter if he was sexy.
because he wouldn't have anyone to fuck.
i mean, come on, love.
common sense.
everything revolves around sex.
UNLESS.
(i mean everything still does revolve around sex)
but what if he wants to release it...
so that he can be like "MY BLOOD IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE YOU! YOU MUST COME TO ME! BAHAHAH."
but even still. you can only create so much blood. and the virus basically kills EVERYONE.
so. that fails.
so. is adam manipulating peter to do bad things? and convincing him that it's for the greater good?
because i can totally see that happening.
like adam being like "no, no! we're doing it to SAVE people!"
because peter ALWAYS falls for stuff like that. i mean he can't help it.
he's like harry potter.
he's got the biggest hero complex ever.
anyways, so he could be THINKING he's doing something good, but he could actually be doing something BAD.
or at least "bad" in other people's minds.
like surresh. is that how you spell it?
well that's how it sounds.
he's hot too.
this whole show is like chock full of hot men. i LOVE it.
and the girls are hot too.
wtf.
hot men:
SYLAR (omgwewillgettothatrantinasecond)
peter petrelli (gorgeoussss. hello. milo)
surresh (loveeee his accent)
ADAM (god his accent is to die for too)
DL Hawkins (so pissed he's dead. he was hot too)
west (so jealous of claire)
matt parkman (i've always found him adorable and attractive. i have no idea why. i know. it's weird. whatever. he's adorable. admit it)
noah bennnet (also. i know. odd. but he's attractive in an older-man kind of way. plus i love the name noah)
ando (i love him. the end)
hiro (not hot. but he is adorable. so that counts)
nathan petrelli (omg how could i forget hiiiiim?!)
alejandro (gorgeous. too bad he's dead.)
i can't think of anyone elseeee...
hot girls:
hayden paniterrie (can't spell her last name, but no one can spell mine either so. deal. um she is GORGEOUS. i LOVE her.)
kristen bell (hello. also gorgeous.)
ali larter (helloooooo she played in legally blondeeeee. totally amazing)
[i love how i'm using the girls' real names. random]
the girl from new orleans whose name i can't remember (totally gorgeous. love her as st. joan. plus her power kicks ASS. her story line's getting old though.)
maya (totally gorgeous. plus she got to EFFING MAKE OUT WITH SYLAR)
that girl... CANDACE! she was pretty. until sylar killed her.
that other girl. who was next to surresh in season one. i think sylar killed her too. whoops.
issss that it?
possibly.
anyways. something.
ANYWAYS.
yes the show is FILLED to the brim with BEAUTIFUL people.
it's like a requirement.
why can't life be more like TV, huh? whyyy?
so anyways.
so hiro vs. peter.
my money's on peter, personally. i mean. he can do anything hiro can. plus hiro's just got a sword.
claire's apparently going to tell the world her secret to get back at elle and her dad for killing her dad? good luck with that...
her crying scene with his ashes would have been better if we didn't know he wasn't DEAD.
but. i love noah. so i'm glad he's alive again.
i'm almost kind of glad sylar killed alejandro. as sad as it was. and by sad i mean bloody. and by bloody i mean awesome.
because it made sylar all evil again.
and he's really ridiculously creepy when he's evil.
and really hot.
and OH MY GOD HE TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT.
AND HE WAS WET FROM THE SHOWER.
good LORD ALMIGHTY SOMEONE LOVES ME.
ilovezacharyquinto.
he's got a really distinct kind of look. it kind of has to grow on you.
he and maya better have like awesome evil sex.
i would.
but i mean that's just me.
have i mentioned adam's hot too? because he totally is. i'm kind of in love with his accent. like a lot. it's to DIE for.
i hope elle totally bitch slaps her dad too. and rebels.
AND OMG SYLAR DON'T HURT MOLLY.
because-- WAIT OMG WHERE THE HELL WAS MATT?!
Sylar: I told the babysitter to take the night off.
was MATT THE "BABYSITTER"?!?!?!
DID HE KILL-- wait no. he couldn't have.
maya was with him.
i don't remember where matt is.
oh right he's got that new mind power that he's totally going to end up abusing. i don't want him to end up like his daaaaad. which is what he's going to do if he doesn't keep himself in check.
oh wait. he was talking to mrs. petrelli last time, no? i don't remember. but he's out of town on FBI business... awesome.
okay.
good. matt's safe.
BUT SYLAR'S GOT MOLLY.
and SURRESH HAS TO GET THE VIRUS THING TO ALI LARTER! OR ELSE SHE DIES!
but surresh has to get back to new york (are they in new york? i think so. they must be) to save molly and face sylar again!
SURRESH PLEASE GIVE THE STUFF TO ALI FIRST. PLEASE!
AND SYLAR PLEASE TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT AGAIN.
BECOME LIKE MILO AND JUST DON'T WEAR ONE. LIKE AT ALL.
OR LIKE DOMINIC!
and just wear your shirt-- no matter WHAT shirt it is-- NEVER FULLY CLOSED.
i swear to god, if he wore a pull-over shirt, he'd rip it.
stupid, fucking hot man.
THERE'S another show with some hot men. or at least very attractive. let's name them.
DOMINIC/lincoln- basically no words needed. the end.
wentworth miller/michael- lord that boy is hot.
sucre- niiiiiiiiice body. plus. his character is so endearing. you just want to HUG him. ("look mami! llamas!" "sucre, those are alpacas." "that's what i said! a pack of llamas!")
whistler- GOOD LORDDDDDDDD. that kid needs to take his shirt off more often. CHRIST. hiding all that under that shirt. SHAME.
kellerman- completely amazing. and very attractive. too bad they KILLED HIM. LSKDJFKLSDJ.
LJ- I LOVE LJ! he's so CUTE.
c-note- baaaah i wish they'd give him a cameo in the third season. i miss him. he was fine.
william fletcher/mahone- i have a total crush on mahone. so not afraid to admit it. i have no idea why besides he is a complete BADASS and just. i find him attractive in an older-guy sort of way. maybe i'm the only one. but. whatever. he makes MY list.
whooooo elseeee?!
lincoln and gretchen need to have hot angry sex.
and whistler should have sex with anything that moves.
and SARA SHOULD COME BACK TO EFFING LIFE SO SHE AND MICHAEL CAN MAKE LOVE. WAAAAAAAAAAH.
everything revolves around sex.
it really, really does.
*sigh*
ryan reynolds is also a sex god.
just FYI.
http://www.ryanreynoldsonline.com/
ohmyeffinggod.
please just. look at that picture at the top.
with the green string around his wrist.
like.
WHAT THE FUCK.
it is NOT fair for someone to be THAT hot and SO unattainable.
it's just not.
bahhhhh the nin9s is coming out on DVD in like two monthsssssss... so LONG.
and his new movie has abagail breslin.
um.
hello.
WIN.
PLUSITHASRYANREYNOLDSINIT.
in which he makes out and has sex and discusses threesomes.
"what's the boy word for slut?"
"... they still haven't come up with one yet."
i love that man.
so much.
alanis morissette is such a lucky bitch.
so fucking lucky.
wait. i just read his wiki (yes i AM a stalker. shutthefuckupalready)
they ended their engagement. damn.
WAIT HE'S DATING SCARLETT JOHANSSON?!
OHMYGOD.
MOST BEAUTIFUL COUPLE EVER.
aslkfdjlasjdlfkjdkj.
what i would not give for a piece of that tail.
honestly.
okay i think i am done getting rid of my sexual tension now.
thanks for reading.
i miss prison break.
:(
OH AND AMAZING NEW EPISODE OFFFFF SVU TOMORROW.
OHMYGOD.
OLIVA OR WIFE?!
OLIVA OR WIFE?!
WHICH ONE, ELLIOT?! WHICH ONE?!?!?!?
*pstOLIVApst*
they need to have hot sex too.
EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND SEX.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
number fifteen
144 Things I Want To Do Before I Die
[(*) indicates have already done, but want to do again]
1. Have my own horse
2. Graduate high school
3. Graduate college
4. Write and publish a book
5. Have a conversation with JK Rowling about my book
6. Spend time learning in Italy
7. Kiss someone in the rain
8. Kiss someone. Period.
9. Make a touching and strong speech
10. Change someone's life
11. Strengthen and soldify my faith
12. Have a baby
13. Throw a surprise party
14. Fall in love
15. Be a role model and source of inspiration
16. See Lion King on Broadway
17. Ride a big roller coaster
18. Buy baby clothes
19. Have my own house
20. See a wild horse out in the open
21. See an orca whale in the ocean
22. Go camping
23. Stand up to someone to their face
24. Do locks of love (*)
25. Paint a picture
26. Go to a place no one's ever been to before
27. Take another ceramics class
28. Witness a miracle
29. Watch a meteor shower
30. Watch a solar eclipse
31. Watch a lunar eclipse (*)
32. See a harvest moon
33. Be able to identify various constellations
34. Hit a softball over the fence
35. Score the winning run
36. Be captain of the Varsity Softball team
37. TP someone's house
38. Go to Disney World
39. Go to Harry Potter World
40. Get a Harry Potter book on the night of the release (*)
41. Go to a Harry Potter movie release
42. Be kissed on the neck
43. Stay up all night talking to a boy I love
44. Watch the sunrise (*)
45. Catch a big fish (*)
46. Read the whole Bible
47. Write a message and put it in a bottle and toss it out to sea
48. See S Club live in concert
49. Write a song
50. Relearn how to play the piano
51. Learn at least three songs on the guitar (Why Georgia being one of them)
52. Get married
53. Have a real date to a dance
54. Rock a child to sleep (*)
55. Fall asleep next to a boy I love
56. Go skinny dipping
57. Explictly say "no" to drugs
58. Explictly say "no" to alcohol
59. Write graffiti on something
60. Swim with dolphins and/or orca whales
61. Have my own puppy
62. Be a designated driver
63. Work at Lost Valley Ranch
64. Be some kind of part of a major motion picture
65. Save someone's life
66. Save an animals's life
67. Decorate my own house
68. Cook a full meal for myself
69. Be able to properly do the Cotton-Eye Joe
70. Relearn how to tack a horse
71. Become an elected leader of a group
72. Discover myself
73. Go on an all-day hike
74. Create my own website
75. Ask a boy for his number
76. Send a picture in to Pink is the New Blog
77. Be the topic of a newspaper article (*)
78. Have grandchildren
79. Write a letter to a soldier
80. Write a letter to a perfect stranger
81. Smack someone who says something smack-worthy
82. Pay off all debts
83. Take a fantastic picture entirely on accident
84. Become fluent in a different language
85. Give someone who's crying a hug and hold them until they stop (*)
86. See David graduate from high school
87. See David graduate from college
88. See Van Gough's "Starry Night"
89. Drive a Seadoo
90. Go rafting
91. Go sailing
92. Be a bride's maid
93. Be a maid/matron of honor
94. Become someone's friend despite previous differences
95. Learn to play drums to at least one song
96. Be valedictorian
97. Change a stranger's life
98. Hail a taxi
99. Read the Illiad
100. Read the Odyssey (*)
101. Run into someone famous on the streets
102. Run into a childhood friend some years later
103. Send someone a care package (*)
104. Solve a mystery
105. Be so surprised, I'm speechless
106. Be so happy, I cry
107. Visit every state in the country
108. Go to Canada
109. Create a time capsule
110. Dig up a time capsule 10 or 20 years later
111. Keep Blankie (esp) and Goliath alive
112. Play with several-weeks-old puppies (*)
113. Do something no one's ever done before
114. Make a snow angel (*)
115. Make a snow man
116. Fall asleep in front of a fireplace
117. Hear Santa's sleighbells
118. Cause someone's heart to flip or stomach to drop
119. Touch a dolphin and/or orca whale
120. Hear the whales talk to each other in real life
121. See a rainbow (*)
122. See a white rainbow
123. Kiss someone on the nose
124. See an angel
125. Watch a baby be born
126. Watch an egg hatch
127. Get my driver's liscense (*)
128. Sleep outside in the backyard
129. Give a homeless person some food
130. Go rock climbing (*)
131. Watch the sun set (*)
132. Be the inspiration for a song
133. Go to Niagara Falls
134. Go to the Grand Canyon
135. See a glacier
136. Watch a men's lacrosse game
137. Visit the Parthenon
138. Have a surprise party thrown for me
139. Ride bareback
140. Go scuba diving
141. Develop a photograph
142. Send a postcard to Post-Secret
143. Visit Yellowstone
144. Milk a cow
i dare you to make your own.
[(*) indicates have already done, but want to do again]
1. Have my own horse
2. Graduate high school
3. Graduate college
4. Write and publish a book
5. Have a conversation with JK Rowling about my book
6. Spend time learning in Italy
7. Kiss someone in the rain
8. Kiss someone. Period.
9. Make a touching and strong speech
10. Change someone's life
11. Strengthen and soldify my faith
12. Have a baby
13. Throw a surprise party
14. Fall in love
15. Be a role model and source of inspiration
16. See Lion King on Broadway
17. Ride a big roller coaster
18. Buy baby clothes
19. Have my own house
20. See a wild horse out in the open
21. See an orca whale in the ocean
22. Go camping
23. Stand up to someone to their face
24. Do locks of love (*)
25. Paint a picture
26. Go to a place no one's ever been to before
27. Take another ceramics class
28. Witness a miracle
29. Watch a meteor shower
30. Watch a solar eclipse
31. Watch a lunar eclipse (*)
32. See a harvest moon
33. Be able to identify various constellations
34. Hit a softball over the fence
35. Score the winning run
36. Be captain of the Varsity Softball team
37. TP someone's house
38. Go to Disney World
39. Go to Harry Potter World
40. Get a Harry Potter book on the night of the release (*)
41. Go to a Harry Potter movie release
42. Be kissed on the neck
43. Stay up all night talking to a boy I love
44. Watch the sunrise (*)
45. Catch a big fish (*)
46. Read the whole Bible
47. Write a message and put it in a bottle and toss it out to sea
48. See S Club live in concert
49. Write a song
50. Relearn how to play the piano
51. Learn at least three songs on the guitar (Why Georgia being one of them)
52. Get married
53. Have a real date to a dance
54. Rock a child to sleep (*)
55. Fall asleep next to a boy I love
56. Go skinny dipping
57. Explictly say "no" to drugs
58. Explictly say "no" to alcohol
59. Write graffiti on something
60. Swim with dolphins and/or orca whales
61. Have my own puppy
62. Be a designated driver
63. Work at Lost Valley Ranch
64. Be some kind of part of a major motion picture
65. Save someone's life
66. Save an animals's life
67. Decorate my own house
68. Cook a full meal for myself
69. Be able to properly do the Cotton-Eye Joe
70. Relearn how to tack a horse
71. Become an elected leader of a group
72. Discover myself
73. Go on an all-day hike
74. Create my own website
75. Ask a boy for his number
76. Send a picture in to Pink is the New Blog
77. Be the topic of a newspaper article (*)
78. Have grandchildren
79. Write a letter to a soldier
80. Write a letter to a perfect stranger
81. Smack someone who says something smack-worthy
82. Pay off all debts
83. Take a fantastic picture entirely on accident
84. Become fluent in a different language
85. Give someone who's crying a hug and hold them until they stop (*)
86. See David graduate from high school
87. See David graduate from college
88. See Van Gough's "Starry Night"
89. Drive a Seadoo
90. Go rafting
91. Go sailing
92. Be a bride's maid
93. Be a maid/matron of honor
94. Become someone's friend despite previous differences
95. Learn to play drums to at least one song
96. Be valedictorian
97. Change a stranger's life
98. Hail a taxi
99. Read the Illiad
100. Read the Odyssey (*)
101. Run into someone famous on the streets
102. Run into a childhood friend some years later
103. Send someone a care package (*)
104. Solve a mystery
105. Be so surprised, I'm speechless
106. Be so happy, I cry
107. Visit every state in the country
108. Go to Canada
109. Create a time capsule
110. Dig up a time capsule 10 or 20 years later
111. Keep Blankie (esp) and Goliath alive
112. Play with several-weeks-old puppies (*)
113. Do something no one's ever done before
114. Make a snow angel (*)
115. Make a snow man
116. Fall asleep in front of a fireplace
117. Hear Santa's sleighbells
118. Cause someone's heart to flip or stomach to drop
119. Touch a dolphin and/or orca whale
120. Hear the whales talk to each other in real life
121. See a rainbow (*)
122. See a white rainbow
123. Kiss someone on the nose
124. See an angel
125. Watch a baby be born
126. Watch an egg hatch
127. Get my driver's liscense (*)
128. Sleep outside in the backyard
129. Give a homeless person some food
130. Go rock climbing (*)
131. Watch the sun set (*)
132. Be the inspiration for a song
133. Go to Niagara Falls
134. Go to the Grand Canyon
135. See a glacier
136. Watch a men's lacrosse game
137. Visit the Parthenon
138. Have a surprise party thrown for me
139. Ride bareback
140. Go scuba diving
141. Develop a photograph
142. Send a postcard to Post-Secret
143. Visit Yellowstone
144. Milk a cow
i dare you to make your own.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
number fourteen
does anyone believe.
well, no that's a dumb question.
i feel kind of stupid. for saying it.
you ever feel like. maybe. you've met someone you could possibly love?
like not even silly love. like. love.
here i am. seventeen. talking about love. i mean, is that even possible?
in my defense, i am almost eighteen. but. STILL.
it just seems. silly. i don't know.
like it's too good to be true.
like i'm going to end up like one of those sad, pitiful girls who thought they were in love. because i've seen them at their low points.
and it's almost disgusting.
i've known him since june. the end of june. and i've only been in the same state as him for a week. technically a week and a couple of days.
sound like a stupid love story?
pretty much.
it's so impractical. so incredibly impractical. so incredibly ridiculous.
there are so many things wrong with it. so, so unlikely. so many holes.
i haven't told this story for a long time. so allow me the pleasure of relating my love saga to you. it's really kind of. amazing.
june 2007
my family (my dad, my mom, my brother, me, my aunt, my uncle, my two cousins, and my grandparents) all go to a guest ranch every summer for a week. most amazing place in the ENTIRE world. it's. omg. there just are no words. i love it there. just. incredible.
anyways. i met him... i suppose on the second day we were there. monday. he worked there over the summer and his roommates at the ranch were in charge of the teen program. which is not lame, btw. so he hung out with the teens a lot. played games with us.
the square dance was on tuesday. which is also NOT LAME. trust me, anything you do with 30+ very good looking college-age boys is NOT lame. and. we danced togetherrrr twice i believe. there's this part in the square dance when you're supposed to hug your partner. don't ask. it's just. you just do it. don't ask. ONCE AGAIN. don't question it. you are with extremely attractive college guys. accept it. anyways, so you turn to your partner and hug them. and so. we hugged. many times. lol. twas nice. anyways one of the times. his arms did something weird. they didn't just drop off me. they kind of slid off. like they took as much time touching my waist as they could. squee.
the next day was the teen morning ride. and lo and behold who happens to show up? yes. on his day off too, bless his heart. we chatted on and off all day. i remember distinctly we talked about that song that you sing when you're little.
"down by the bay. when the watermelon grows. that's where i go. somethingsomething. down to my home. for something. my mother would say have you ever seen a whale with a polka dotted tail? DOWN BY THE BAY."
anyways.
i just felt. like myself when i was with him, you know? and that's a big deal for me. since. i just. i'm never like that ever with guys. i'm always nervous and i tend to hide myself within the person who i think they want to see. which is a flaw of mine. i admit. i'm getting better about it. but. i was able to call out to him and talk with him without feeling stupid or uncomfortable. for those of you who know me, it's just a big deal.
the last day, saturday, we happened to be at the pool at the same time. him with his ranch buds playing water football (... boys) and me with my friends i made. somehow. i'm not exactly sure how. we both kind of migrated to the same side of the pool. his legs were dangling in the water. i was still in the pool, pulled up on the side. and we just talked. i don't even remember what about. but those are the best conversations, aren't they?
i was able to be bold with him. i was able to flirt. i was able to make him smile. i was able to make him want to talk to me.
that's a first in my book.
and i would catch him. glancing at me. every now and then. we didn't sit at the same table for dinner the last night (we were both sad), but i caught him looking at me from the table across from us. we held eye contact for a couple seconds. and went back to our dinners. i knew he was still watching.
the very last night. on saturday. we winded up in a room alone together. and. we talked. or. rather, he talked. he told me things that he hadn't told very many people, if any. he told me things that he didn't want to tell anyone else. he talked about some really personal things that i don't care to reveal. but. i knew after that. we were something more than we had been before. even individually. i know somehow that conversation's changed me and i'm not even sure how. i just know it has.
we've been emailing. since then. since june. since june 23rd. almost five months.
five months.
i have not seen him in five months.
he's called me a couple times. we talk about nonsense. but god.
it is so good to hear his voice again.
it's like. it's something very solid. i almost feel like i can touch his voice. which i'm sure doesn't make any sense. but. it's extraordinarly comforting. having him on the other side of the line.
i flew up to colorado last weekend. to his college campus actually. which is one of my top schools.
not because of him. he had some influence over my beginning interest in the school. but. i'm not going to go to a school because of a boy. i am not that girl.
i'd mentioned several times that i was coming to visit. and. he seemed to ignore them. i don't know whether he read those parts of the email. i just don't know. but. he hadn't said anything about me coming to visit so i didn't call him when i was there.
he called me the day i got back. saying he was sorry and he felt stupid and. things. etc. that he had just gotten my email telling him i was going to be in town that weekend. i shoud have called him, but it was his fault. etc, etc.
i was so torn. between being mad. and being thankful.
since then (about two/three weeks ago) his emails have been. longer and more personal. he's mentioned me calling him when i get back to colorado at least three times now. i got a really sweet email from him the other day, which is what inspired me to write this blog in the first place.
so. we are at an odd point. we always will be. until i go to college.
but. i just want you to realize here with me the impossiblities here:
-he is in college; i'm in high school.
-he's in colorado; i'm in texas
-he's 21 (oh right btw); i'm almost 18
-mention he's in colorado and i'm still in texas?
-we haven't seen each other in five months and probably won't until next june
that's not one impossiblity. that's four.
four very large, very real impossibilities.
but. on the other hand. can you imagine with me the faerie tale possiblity.
-we met at my favorite place in the entire world
-we clicked practically immediately
-we've had conversations about things that i only talk about with my best friend
-when we see each other again, it'll have been probably a year. a year dealing with this possiblity. a year
-i'm still in high school
-he's incredible
-we would make possibly the most beautiful children in the entire world
-he is incredibly, really, really attractive. like. wow.
-he's one of the only guys i've met that i can be myself around
-he's able to tell me things. lots of things.
-we have like. ridiculously similar ideas about faith. which. is really amazing.
i can go on.
but i won't.
anyways. so.
that. is. that.
i need to do homework.
and things.
i hate having high hopes.
it just makes falling so much harder.
(but i want to hope so badly)
well, no that's a dumb question.
i feel kind of stupid. for saying it.
you ever feel like. maybe. you've met someone you could possibly love?
like not even silly love. like. love.
here i am. seventeen. talking about love. i mean, is that even possible?
in my defense, i am almost eighteen. but. STILL.
it just seems. silly. i don't know.
like it's too good to be true.
like i'm going to end up like one of those sad, pitiful girls who thought they were in love. because i've seen them at their low points.
and it's almost disgusting.
i've known him since june. the end of june. and i've only been in the same state as him for a week. technically a week and a couple of days.
sound like a stupid love story?
pretty much.
it's so impractical. so incredibly impractical. so incredibly ridiculous.
there are so many things wrong with it. so, so unlikely. so many holes.
i haven't told this story for a long time. so allow me the pleasure of relating my love saga to you. it's really kind of. amazing.
june 2007
my family (my dad, my mom, my brother, me, my aunt, my uncle, my two cousins, and my grandparents) all go to a guest ranch every summer for a week. most amazing place in the ENTIRE world. it's. omg. there just are no words. i love it there. just. incredible.
anyways. i met him... i suppose on the second day we were there. monday. he worked there over the summer and his roommates at the ranch were in charge of the teen program. which is not lame, btw. so he hung out with the teens a lot. played games with us.
the square dance was on tuesday. which is also NOT LAME. trust me, anything you do with 30+ very good looking college-age boys is NOT lame. and. we danced togetherrrr twice i believe. there's this part in the square dance when you're supposed to hug your partner. don't ask. it's just. you just do it. don't ask. ONCE AGAIN. don't question it. you are with extremely attractive college guys. accept it. anyways, so you turn to your partner and hug them. and so. we hugged. many times. lol. twas nice. anyways one of the times. his arms did something weird. they didn't just drop off me. they kind of slid off. like they took as much time touching my waist as they could. squee.
the next day was the teen morning ride. and lo and behold who happens to show up? yes. on his day off too, bless his heart. we chatted on and off all day. i remember distinctly we talked about that song that you sing when you're little.
"down by the bay. when the watermelon grows. that's where i go. somethingsomething. down to my home. for something. my mother would say have you ever seen a whale with a polka dotted tail? DOWN BY THE BAY."
anyways.
i just felt. like myself when i was with him, you know? and that's a big deal for me. since. i just. i'm never like that ever with guys. i'm always nervous and i tend to hide myself within the person who i think they want to see. which is a flaw of mine. i admit. i'm getting better about it. but. i was able to call out to him and talk with him without feeling stupid or uncomfortable. for those of you who know me, it's just a big deal.
the last day, saturday, we happened to be at the pool at the same time. him with his ranch buds playing water football (... boys) and me with my friends i made. somehow. i'm not exactly sure how. we both kind of migrated to the same side of the pool. his legs were dangling in the water. i was still in the pool, pulled up on the side. and we just talked. i don't even remember what about. but those are the best conversations, aren't they?
i was able to be bold with him. i was able to flirt. i was able to make him smile. i was able to make him want to talk to me.
that's a first in my book.
and i would catch him. glancing at me. every now and then. we didn't sit at the same table for dinner the last night (we were both sad), but i caught him looking at me from the table across from us. we held eye contact for a couple seconds. and went back to our dinners. i knew he was still watching.
the very last night. on saturday. we winded up in a room alone together. and. we talked. or. rather, he talked. he told me things that he hadn't told very many people, if any. he told me things that he didn't want to tell anyone else. he talked about some really personal things that i don't care to reveal. but. i knew after that. we were something more than we had been before. even individually. i know somehow that conversation's changed me and i'm not even sure how. i just know it has.
we've been emailing. since then. since june. since june 23rd. almost five months.
five months.
i have not seen him in five months.
he's called me a couple times. we talk about nonsense. but god.
it is so good to hear his voice again.
it's like. it's something very solid. i almost feel like i can touch his voice. which i'm sure doesn't make any sense. but. it's extraordinarly comforting. having him on the other side of the line.
i flew up to colorado last weekend. to his college campus actually. which is one of my top schools.
not because of him. he had some influence over my beginning interest in the school. but. i'm not going to go to a school because of a boy. i am not that girl.
i'd mentioned several times that i was coming to visit. and. he seemed to ignore them. i don't know whether he read those parts of the email. i just don't know. but. he hadn't said anything about me coming to visit so i didn't call him when i was there.
he called me the day i got back. saying he was sorry and he felt stupid and. things. etc. that he had just gotten my email telling him i was going to be in town that weekend. i shoud have called him, but it was his fault. etc, etc.
i was so torn. between being mad. and being thankful.
since then (about two/three weeks ago) his emails have been. longer and more personal. he's mentioned me calling him when i get back to colorado at least three times now. i got a really sweet email from him the other day, which is what inspired me to write this blog in the first place.
so. we are at an odd point. we always will be. until i go to college.
but. i just want you to realize here with me the impossiblities here:
-he is in college; i'm in high school.
-he's in colorado; i'm in texas
-he's 21 (oh right btw); i'm almost 18
-mention he's in colorado and i'm still in texas?
-we haven't seen each other in five months and probably won't until next june
that's not one impossiblity. that's four.
four very large, very real impossibilities.
but. on the other hand. can you imagine with me the faerie tale possiblity.
-we met at my favorite place in the entire world
-we clicked practically immediately
-we've had conversations about things that i only talk about with my best friend
-when we see each other again, it'll have been probably a year. a year dealing with this possiblity. a year
-i'm still in high school
-he's incredible
-we would make possibly the most beautiful children in the entire world
-he is incredibly, really, really attractive. like. wow.
-he's one of the only guys i've met that i can be myself around
-he's able to tell me things. lots of things.
-we have like. ridiculously similar ideas about faith. which. is really amazing.
i can go on.
but i won't.
anyways. so.
that. is. that.
i need to do homework.
and things.
i hate having high hopes.
it just makes falling so much harder.
(but i want to hope so badly)
Monday, November 12, 2007
number thirteen
lucky thirteen.
it's zanzi's favorite/lucky number.
because she's insane.
anyways. OKAY SO.
i had this INSAAAAAAANE dream last night. it was SO awesome. i'm really mad. that i woke up. because. it was. AWESOME.
okay. so. it starts out kind of like a TV show. i mean the lighting and colors kind of looked like it, you know. and it had a very camera-esque view. if that makes sense. maybe i'm meant to be a director. god only knows.
anyways so there was this woman. and she was sitting on this bench in this court house. or it was like a mix between a courthouse, a jail, and an airport.
don't ask.
anyways, so she's sittting there and her hands are handcuffs and there's this long thin chain coming off the handcuffs. and she's just sitting there all nice and pretty. with some files in her lap. and these three men come off this plane and walk by her (they're now in the "courthouse") and this one man does this double take. and he walks up to her and he goes "don'tttt i know you?" and she's all "um... no?" and he's like "let me look at your records." and she's like "i don't think you're supposed--oh okay..." as he takes the folders out of her lap and flips them open.
"ah, yes," he says with a great smile as he lifts her up by her handcuffs hands and the long thin chain. "i am one of your lawyers. come with me."
she's very confused by this point but follows the man because he seems nice enough. and he leads her outside and then he takes a key out of his pocket. and he unlocks her handcuffs and he says very quietly "RUN. FAST. NOW."
and she's thinking "... whatthefuck."
and he gestures frantically, "RUN."
and so she finally understands that it is VERY vital for her to run because she JUST remembers that she's caught up in a conspiracy! OH NOES! so she starts running! FAST! but it doesn't feel fast enough! and she hears screeching wheels all around her. AND SHE RUNS.
and then at this point my point of view has changed and it's no longer "she" but "i." now I'M running because I'M caught up in the conspiracy. and so i'm running and running. and i run into a wall and i'm like "oh shit that's a wall" so i turn around and there's this forrest full of big huge trees with lots of yellow leaves, just like in colorado. and i'm like "OMGRUNFORTHETREES!"
and so i do. and i'm running and such, and i meet up with these two guys, one of which is michael from lost. the one who hasn't been in the second season and play mercutio in romeo + juliet. yes that one. and so they're both like "omg we're here to help you run!" and i'm like "OMG OKAY! RUN!" and so we're running. and then michael's like "OMG STOP! THERE ARE TRAPS!"
and sure enough i trigger one just mere seconds later and FWOOP. a net goes up where i was standing. and michael's like "OMG IT'S THE NATIVE TRIBES OF THE YELLOW-LEAF FORREST!" and i'm like "omg what do we do?!" and the other guy is like "just activate all the traps/nets, but don't get caught!"
and so we're walking carefully now, seeing where all of the places are booby trapped. and every few seconds we make a net go FWOOP and it goes up into the trees.
and so FINALLY we get out the the trees and michael and the other guy are all like "BYE! GOOD LUCK!" and i'm like "THANKSSS!"
and so i start running again. and then i'm like "omg THERE'S AN AIRPORT! LET ME RUN INTO THERE! THAT SEEMS SAFE!"
so i do.
and i run in and my cell phone starts ringing. and it's a text from this. i think it was like "imagination dreams" or something really weird. and it said something like "hide in the airport and tell me when you're safe."
so logically i dash into the airport and to this AWESOME DIVE THING behind this concrete column or something. and. i think i went on an elevator or something. but then i see this guy who had texted me (because obviously i recognize people after they've texted me) and i swear to god, he looked like moritz sudof but with like crazy green&blue sunglasses on. and so i'm like "OMG THERE'S MY SECRET AGENT MAN." and so i text him and i'm like "i'm safe." and he goes "OKAY GOOD. stay there."
and then i look around from the safety of my column and OHNOES! I SEE A MAN FROM THE COMPANY!!! (here it should be explained that both the shows prison break AND heroes have "a company" and they're both bad. it's weird and confusing. in this case, it was a man from the prison break company. he was the one who was watching t-bag when he was at the hotel with that other guy. and then bellick goes up to him and pretends to be a gringo. to distract the two company guys while lincoln (OMGLOVE)/michael put a gun on them. ANYWAYS...)
and so i texted my super agent man who i automatically knew was supposed to keep me safe. and i was like "OMG THERE'S A MAN FROM THE COMPANY HERE!!!!!" and he was like "OMG OKAY I'M COMING! I SEE HIM TOO!"
and so i just chilled behind my barrier. and the company man had his luggage with him (because duh, we were in an airport) and he looked around all sneakily and then headed towards this suspicious looking door. and he started to open it. and then my super agent man (we're going to call him SAM) saw him go for the door and so he picked up the company's man luggage AND HIT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH IT.
and i was like "OMFG!"
and so then sam went through the door and down the secret stairs. and i texted him and i was like "OMG DO YOU NEED HELP?!" and he was like "no just make sure that the company man doesn't follow me or leave!" and i was like "OKAY! do you want me to be your backup!" and he was like "that's very sweet, but i think you should stay there." and i was like "OKAY. PLEASE DON'T GET HURT SAM!" and he was like "OKAYLOVEYOU!" and i was like "LOVEYOUTOO."
and so then the company man was on the ground and he was all like moving and going to get up. and i was like "OHNOES!" so i got my cell phone and i called 911. and i was like "WE HAVE A MAN DOWN!" and within .0001 seconds there was an ambulence and EMTs and they were ALL over the scene and they were like holding down the evil, evil company man so he couldn't get up. and i was all like "PWND INYOURFACEEEE."
and then sam came out of the door and he was like "OKAY LET'S GO." and i was like "OKAY!"
and so then i wasss... i don't know how i got there but all of a sudden i was in a car. or. no i think. something. i don't remember. sam and i had a very deep and meaningful conversation. and then the next day, i was very suddenly aware that i just HAD TO CHASE SYLER (who, if you don't know, is the REALLY hot, REALLY bad man in heroes) because OMG HE WAS ON THE LOOSE!!!
and so then i hopped into my AWESOME CHASING MOBILE (which turned out to be a TOTALLY pimped out version of my mom's--not kidding here-- MINI VAN. RED MINI VAN. it's called the schluck-mobile). and syler of course was in some really hot black sports car. and so i was like "OMG CHASEEEE!!!"
and there was this INTENSE car chase. man that mini-van can GO. we were like going EVERYWHERE. and i was keeping up totally. it was fucking AWESOME.
anyways and so then syler TURNS SHARPLY into this parking garage. and i was like "OMGTURNNN!!!" and we climb ALL FIVE LEVELS. and finally we get to the top level and i'm like "OMGFACEDOWNNNN!!!"
BUT NO!
SYLER'S USING HIS NEW FOUND POWER ON ME! (okay matt parkman's (ilovehim) dad's power. it's where you trap people in their WORST NIGHTMARES. it's scary shit, man. anyways, that's skyler's new power)
and suddenly. i wasn't me! i was hayden paneteirre! (which isn't my worst nightmare. obvs. she's fabulous) but i was living claire's (aka hayden's character on heroes) worst nightmare! OMG!
WHAT WAS CLAIRE'S WORST NIGHTMARE!
BEING NAKED IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!
and so i/hayden/claire (we were all the same person apparently-- i was claire essentially. all very confusing) was on top of this parking garage COMPLETELY NEKKID.
like you know that nightmare when you go to school and you realize you're naked? yes like that only on top of a parking garage.
anyways and so i was like "OMGNAKED!" and there were people all around and they were all like "omg what?"
except i wasn't completely naked. i had on a night robe and panties. but nothing else. anyways. and so i was like "AHA! SYLAR YOU CAN'T TRAP ME IN MY OWN NIGHTMARE!!!!"
and so claire (apparently i'm third person now. no longer claire. hmph) was all like "omg am i NAKED? whaaat? omgggg. well. maybe if i didn't have this BATHROBE ON!!!" and she totally like throws it off and everyone (well all the boys) are all like *PANTPANTPANT*
and then she's like "WHAAAT?! YOU THINK I SHOULD TAKE MY UNDERWEAR OFF?!" and she hooks her thumbs into her underwear and just grins. and sylar's off the side going INSANE and is like "THIS IS NOT WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. DAMN YOU!"
and so claire like takes off her underwear? and then there's this shot of this red head kid (apparently only in his tighty whities) that like faints or something.
it's fantastic.
anyways and so then i'm like back to my normal self because sylar is like "GOTTA GO BECAUSE THIS AIN'T WORKIN!"
and so i was like "NOT SO FAST!"
so i like speed after him. but i loose track of him. boo.
and so it's all dark and at night. and i'm texting my right hand man, sam. and we're like biffs or something. and i'm like "i'm a little scared. because it's dark. but. that's okay."
and then all of a sudden sylar's like "PWND!" and he like t-bones my car. and i'm like "BAAAAH."
and i'm trying to text sam to be like "SAM!SAM!SYLAR'SGOTME!!!!!"
but i can't find his number! AND SYLAR'S COMING CLOSER!!!!
AND JUST AS I FIND HIS NUMBER--
"GETUP! IT'S 7:20!!!! YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE."
BAHYOUJUSTRUINEDMYAWESOMEDREAM!
sylar and i were going to have like awesome sexual-tension ALONE time. GAWD.
so that's the end of my dream.
hope you enjoyed it.
yes, i know it's kind of on crack.
but. well.
loves.
it's zanzi's favorite/lucky number.
because she's insane.
anyways. OKAY SO.
i had this INSAAAAAAANE dream last night. it was SO awesome. i'm really mad. that i woke up. because. it was. AWESOME.
okay. so. it starts out kind of like a TV show. i mean the lighting and colors kind of looked like it, you know. and it had a very camera-esque view. if that makes sense. maybe i'm meant to be a director. god only knows.
anyways so there was this woman. and she was sitting on this bench in this court house. or it was like a mix between a courthouse, a jail, and an airport.
don't ask.
anyways, so she's sittting there and her hands are handcuffs and there's this long thin chain coming off the handcuffs. and she's just sitting there all nice and pretty. with some files in her lap. and these three men come off this plane and walk by her (they're now in the "courthouse") and this one man does this double take. and he walks up to her and he goes "don'tttt i know you?" and she's all "um... no?" and he's like "let me look at your records." and she's like "i don't think you're supposed--oh okay..." as he takes the folders out of her lap and flips them open.
"ah, yes," he says with a great smile as he lifts her up by her handcuffs hands and the long thin chain. "i am one of your lawyers. come with me."
she's very confused by this point but follows the man because he seems nice enough. and he leads her outside and then he takes a key out of his pocket. and he unlocks her handcuffs and he says very quietly "RUN. FAST. NOW."
and she's thinking "... whatthefuck."
and he gestures frantically, "RUN."
and so she finally understands that it is VERY vital for her to run because she JUST remembers that she's caught up in a conspiracy! OH NOES! so she starts running! FAST! but it doesn't feel fast enough! and she hears screeching wheels all around her. AND SHE RUNS.
and then at this point my point of view has changed and it's no longer "she" but "i." now I'M running because I'M caught up in the conspiracy. and so i'm running and running. and i run into a wall and i'm like "oh shit that's a wall" so i turn around and there's this forrest full of big huge trees with lots of yellow leaves, just like in colorado. and i'm like "OMGRUNFORTHETREES!"
and so i do. and i'm running and such, and i meet up with these two guys, one of which is michael from lost. the one who hasn't been in the second season and play mercutio in romeo + juliet. yes that one. and so they're both like "omg we're here to help you run!" and i'm like "OMG OKAY! RUN!" and so we're running. and then michael's like "OMG STOP! THERE ARE TRAPS!"
and sure enough i trigger one just mere seconds later and FWOOP. a net goes up where i was standing. and michael's like "OMG IT'S THE NATIVE TRIBES OF THE YELLOW-LEAF FORREST!" and i'm like "omg what do we do?!" and the other guy is like "just activate all the traps/nets, but don't get caught!"
and so we're walking carefully now, seeing where all of the places are booby trapped. and every few seconds we make a net go FWOOP and it goes up into the trees.
and so FINALLY we get out the the trees and michael and the other guy are all like "BYE! GOOD LUCK!" and i'm like "THANKSSS!"
and so i start running again. and then i'm like "omg THERE'S AN AIRPORT! LET ME RUN INTO THERE! THAT SEEMS SAFE!"
so i do.
and i run in and my cell phone starts ringing. and it's a text from this. i think it was like "imagination dreams" or something really weird. and it said something like "hide in the airport and tell me when you're safe."
so logically i dash into the airport and to this AWESOME DIVE THING behind this concrete column or something. and. i think i went on an elevator or something. but then i see this guy who had texted me (because obviously i recognize people after they've texted me) and i swear to god, he looked like moritz sudof but with like crazy green&blue sunglasses on. and so i'm like "OMG THERE'S MY SECRET AGENT MAN." and so i text him and i'm like "i'm safe." and he goes "OKAY GOOD. stay there."
and then i look around from the safety of my column and OHNOES! I SEE A MAN FROM THE COMPANY!!! (here it should be explained that both the shows prison break AND heroes have "a company" and they're both bad. it's weird and confusing. in this case, it was a man from the prison break company. he was the one who was watching t-bag when he was at the hotel with that other guy. and then bellick goes up to him and pretends to be a gringo. to distract the two company guys while lincoln (OMGLOVE)/michael put a gun on them. ANYWAYS...)
and so i texted my super agent man who i automatically knew was supposed to keep me safe. and i was like "OMG THERE'S A MAN FROM THE COMPANY HERE!!!!!" and he was like "OMG OKAY I'M COMING! I SEE HIM TOO!"
and so i just chilled behind my barrier. and the company man had his luggage with him (because duh, we were in an airport) and he looked around all sneakily and then headed towards this suspicious looking door. and he started to open it. and then my super agent man (we're going to call him SAM) saw him go for the door and so he picked up the company's man luggage AND HIT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH IT.
and i was like "OMFG!"
and so then sam went through the door and down the secret stairs. and i texted him and i was like "OMG DO YOU NEED HELP?!" and he was like "no just make sure that the company man doesn't follow me or leave!" and i was like "OKAY! do you want me to be your backup!" and he was like "that's very sweet, but i think you should stay there." and i was like "OKAY. PLEASE DON'T GET HURT SAM!" and he was like "OKAYLOVEYOU!" and i was like "LOVEYOUTOO."
and so then the company man was on the ground and he was all like moving and going to get up. and i was like "OHNOES!" so i got my cell phone and i called 911. and i was like "WE HAVE A MAN DOWN!" and within .0001 seconds there was an ambulence and EMTs and they were ALL over the scene and they were like holding down the evil, evil company man so he couldn't get up. and i was all like "PWND INYOURFACEEEE."
and then sam came out of the door and he was like "OKAY LET'S GO." and i was like "OKAY!"
and so then i wasss... i don't know how i got there but all of a sudden i was in a car. or. no i think. something. i don't remember. sam and i had a very deep and meaningful conversation. and then the next day, i was very suddenly aware that i just HAD TO CHASE SYLER (who, if you don't know, is the REALLY hot, REALLY bad man in heroes) because OMG HE WAS ON THE LOOSE!!!
and so then i hopped into my AWESOME CHASING MOBILE (which turned out to be a TOTALLY pimped out version of my mom's--not kidding here-- MINI VAN. RED MINI VAN. it's called the schluck-mobile). and syler of course was in some really hot black sports car. and so i was like "OMG CHASEEEE!!!"
and there was this INTENSE car chase. man that mini-van can GO. we were like going EVERYWHERE. and i was keeping up totally. it was fucking AWESOME.
anyways and so then syler TURNS SHARPLY into this parking garage. and i was like "OMGTURNNN!!!" and we climb ALL FIVE LEVELS. and finally we get to the top level and i'm like "OMGFACEDOWNNNN!!!"
BUT NO!
SYLER'S USING HIS NEW FOUND POWER ON ME! (okay matt parkman's (ilovehim) dad's power. it's where you trap people in their WORST NIGHTMARES. it's scary shit, man. anyways, that's skyler's new power)
and suddenly. i wasn't me! i was hayden paneteirre! (which isn't my worst nightmare. obvs. she's fabulous) but i was living claire's (aka hayden's character on heroes) worst nightmare! OMG!
WHAT WAS CLAIRE'S WORST NIGHTMARE!
BEING NAKED IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!
and so i/hayden/claire (we were all the same person apparently-- i was claire essentially. all very confusing) was on top of this parking garage COMPLETELY NEKKID.
like you know that nightmare when you go to school and you realize you're naked? yes like that only on top of a parking garage.
anyways and so i was like "OMGNAKED!" and there were people all around and they were all like "omg what?"
except i wasn't completely naked. i had on a night robe and panties. but nothing else. anyways. and so i was like "AHA! SYLAR YOU CAN'T TRAP ME IN MY OWN NIGHTMARE!!!!"
and so claire (apparently i'm third person now. no longer claire. hmph) was all like "omg am i NAKED? whaaat? omgggg. well. maybe if i didn't have this BATHROBE ON!!!" and she totally like throws it off and everyone (well all the boys) are all like *PANTPANTPANT*
and then she's like "WHAAAT?! YOU THINK I SHOULD TAKE MY UNDERWEAR OFF?!" and she hooks her thumbs into her underwear and just grins. and sylar's off the side going INSANE and is like "THIS IS NOT WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. DAMN YOU!"
and so claire like takes off her underwear? and then there's this shot of this red head kid (apparently only in his tighty whities) that like faints or something.
it's fantastic.
anyways and so then i'm like back to my normal self because sylar is like "GOTTA GO BECAUSE THIS AIN'T WORKIN!"
and so i was like "NOT SO FAST!"
so i like speed after him. but i loose track of him. boo.
and so it's all dark and at night. and i'm texting my right hand man, sam. and we're like biffs or something. and i'm like "i'm a little scared. because it's dark. but. that's okay."
and then all of a sudden sylar's like "PWND!" and he like t-bones my car. and i'm like "BAAAAH."
and i'm trying to text sam to be like "SAM!SAM!SYLAR'SGOTME!!!!!"
but i can't find his number! AND SYLAR'S COMING CLOSER!!!!
AND JUST AS I FIND HIS NUMBER--
"GETUP! IT'S 7:20!!!! YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE."
BAHYOUJUSTRUINEDMYAWESOMEDREAM!
sylar and i were going to have like awesome sexual-tension ALONE time. GAWD.
so that's the end of my dream.
hope you enjoyed it.
yes, i know it's kind of on crack.
but. well.
loves.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
number twelve
can i make a confession to you all?
i am dying to do something.
but i can't.
because i have to work on fucking school work.
the something is to write.
write a very long something.
some people call these long things books.
and i really. reallyreallyreallyreally want to continue it. where i left off. and such. because i had this idea. that makes it awesome.
but i can't.
because.
do you want to know what i have to do within the next two days?
i have an AP bio test tomorrrow.
i have an AP bio lab due friday (the next day).
i have an AP english essay due. FRIDAY.
(problem: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE ESSAY IS ABOUT. SHE NEVER TOLD US. she was like "HERE. WRITE AN ESSAY ON THIS POEM." and i was like "OH OKAY. PLEASE GO DIE IN A FIRE.")
i have an AP latin TEST on friday. FRIDAY. FRIDAY.
i'm supposed to go to lunch with one of my friends. FRIDAY.
but can't now!
because i have SOMUCHEFFINGWORKTODO.
OH AND.
GUESS WHAT.
I HAVE TO GET INTO COLLEGE TOO.
:SKLDJF:SKLDFKLSJD:FKLSJDKLFSJDLKFJ.
life.
just isn't going to hot for me right now.
i just want to be out of school.
and write. my. book.
and become like JK rowling and have jim dale narrate my books.
the end.
i am dying to do something.
but i can't.
because i have to work on fucking school work.
the something is to write.
write a very long something.
some people call these long things books.
and i really. reallyreallyreallyreally want to continue it. where i left off. and such. because i had this idea. that makes it awesome.
but i can't.
because.
do you want to know what i have to do within the next two days?
i have an AP bio test tomorrrow.
i have an AP bio lab due friday (the next day).
i have an AP english essay due. FRIDAY.
(problem: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE ESSAY IS ABOUT. SHE NEVER TOLD US. she was like "HERE. WRITE AN ESSAY ON THIS POEM." and i was like "OH OKAY. PLEASE GO DIE IN A FIRE.")
i have an AP latin TEST on friday. FRIDAY. FRIDAY.
i'm supposed to go to lunch with one of my friends. FRIDAY.
but can't now!
because i have SOMUCHEFFINGWORKTODO.
OH AND.
GUESS WHAT.
I HAVE TO GET INTO COLLEGE TOO.
:SKLDJF:SKLDFKLSJD:FKLSJDKLFSJDLKFJ.
life.
just isn't going to hot for me right now.
i just want to be out of school.
and write. my. book.
and become like JK rowling and have jim dale narrate my books.
the end.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
number eleven
today is halloween.
just in case you were wondering.
but i need to post a series of poems about a relationship between me and someone. relationship as in friendship but something a lot more complicated.
i think.
i really don't know.
anyways.
enjoy.
they were written over a two or three month course.
The Beginning
And so he sat.
His shoulders
hunched.
His voice was still.
As if the wind
had ceased tearing
through his branches.
I waited. Patiently.
As if words would
destroy us.
With each breath
came an untold…
Silence wrapped us
in a blanket,
smothering everything
that existed elsewhere.
She forbade Time
to move forward.
His words, which had
suffered for so long
under his tongue,
now floated above
our heads openly.
I had watched them
rip at his soul.
Sense (or was it Fear?)
restrained my fingers
from touching his.
My tongue floundered
helplessly. So I listened.
Silence plucked his words
from the air and, with
her gentle fingertips,
pressed them against
his wounds. They bled.
And I knew he was alive.
In Between the Spaces
You are alive all around me
wrapped snuggly around my wrist
breathing horse sweat and leather.
I could fall in love with you.
And we would be epic.
I will unfold your arms
and open your chest
and watch your heart beat.
You will turn your face
from mine in shame and fear—
ashamed of the dark, ugly
crevices of your insides
and afraid that someone
would want to reach her fingers
and brush your living heart.
But the shadowed corners
that you hide from the world
gleam beautiful.
And you don’t always see it—
you’re afraid to
face the darkness.
But I will touch your heart
and breathe its pulse.
Lift your eyes to mine
and delve with me
into your shadows
and we will find your light.
We may sink at first—
drown in our own essence.
But I will grasp your hand
because you hold my heart.
And we will be.
Reeling
I would give you everything.
Sometimes I think I already have
because I need you here.
But I am angry at you
and I might hate you
at the moment because
I don’t know what you want.
And I hate that
I can’t find the words
to explain how you make
my head hurt and
my heart skip and
my eyes tear and
my nose crinkle and
my toes tap and
my heart break.
I hope you feel as
fucked up as I do
and wonder what’s
going to happen to us.
I hope I make your
mind pound
stomach flip
fingers tingle
mouth twitch
palms clammy
brows furrow
hands yearn
and heart break.
I hope I make you miserable
and I hope you suffer.
And I hope when you see me
your jaw slackens
and your breath stops.
I hope you realize
what you’ve been missing
and you discover what
I already know—
We are epic and we exist
on that distant horizon.
But I need to know.
Don’t light my hope
unless you want it to burn.
just in case you were wondering.
but i need to post a series of poems about a relationship between me and someone. relationship as in friendship but something a lot more complicated.
i think.
i really don't know.
anyways.
enjoy.
they were written over a two or three month course.
The Beginning
And so he sat.
His shoulders
hunched.
His voice was still.
As if the wind
had ceased tearing
through his branches.
I waited. Patiently.
As if words would
destroy us.
With each breath
came an untold…
Silence wrapped us
in a blanket,
smothering everything
that existed elsewhere.
She forbade Time
to move forward.
His words, which had
suffered for so long
under his tongue,
now floated above
our heads openly.
I had watched them
rip at his soul.
Sense (or was it Fear?)
restrained my fingers
from touching his.
My tongue floundered
helplessly. So I listened.
Silence plucked his words
from the air and, with
her gentle fingertips,
pressed them against
his wounds. They bled.
And I knew he was alive.
In Between the Spaces
You are alive all around me
wrapped snuggly around my wrist
breathing horse sweat and leather.
I could fall in love with you.
And we would be epic.
I will unfold your arms
and open your chest
and watch your heart beat.
You will turn your face
from mine in shame and fear—
ashamed of the dark, ugly
crevices of your insides
and afraid that someone
would want to reach her fingers
and brush your living heart.
But the shadowed corners
that you hide from the world
gleam beautiful.
And you don’t always see it—
you’re afraid to
face the darkness.
But I will touch your heart
and breathe its pulse.
Lift your eyes to mine
and delve with me
into your shadows
and we will find your light.
We may sink at first—
drown in our own essence.
But I will grasp your hand
because you hold my heart.
And we will be.
Reeling
I would give you everything.
Sometimes I think I already have
because I need you here.
But I am angry at you
and I might hate you
at the moment because
I don’t know what you want.
And I hate that
I can’t find the words
to explain how you make
my head hurt and
my heart skip and
my eyes tear and
my nose crinkle and
my toes tap and
my heart break.
I hope you feel as
fucked up as I do
and wonder what’s
going to happen to us.
I hope I make your
mind pound
stomach flip
fingers tingle
mouth twitch
palms clammy
brows furrow
hands yearn
and heart break.
I hope I make you miserable
and I hope you suffer.
And I hope when you see me
your jaw slackens
and your breath stops.
I hope you realize
what you’ve been missing
and you discover what
I already know—
We are epic and we exist
on that distant horizon.
But I need to know.
Don’t light my hope
unless you want it to burn.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
number ten
i am absolutely astounded at how infuriating boys can be.
i thought i had a pretty good idea.
but apparently i was wrong.
i was in colorado this weekend. visiting colleges.
let me rant about that for a few minutes.
friday i visited colorado state.
it was absolutely GORGEOUS.
the trees were all turning yellow and red for the fall.
just. stunning. i was so obsessed with them.
i had an admissions speel which was you know. fun.
lol. i hate those things.
and then i went on a tour. which was funnn.
i love tours.
the weather was SO like amazing.
it was about 50 degrees, but the sun was shining so it was really, really nice. i loved ittt.
the campus is also FANTASTIC. omg. it's amazing.
it was a nice mix of nature and buildings. there were trees everywhere, you could see the mountains from certain parts of the campus. the buildings were pretty.
and my dad and i were on campus for the most part of the day. and by the end of the day, i could tell where a lot of the stuff was. which is pretty awesome.
because there are about 25,000 kids there. 21,000 undergrad and 4,000 grad students. and for a fairly big campus it just didn't seem that big, you know? which was really awesome.
and thennn i had a meeting with a lady in the psych department. that was interesting. their psych program is pretty intense. it's really based a lot on science. which is fine with me. i actually love science. yes. nerd. lol.
so anyways yes. lol.
and then i had a meeting with the Honors Program director. which was fun also i suppose. i have a pretty good chance of getting in i think.
and theeeen. well we kind of wandered around.
and then we went home.
saturday we got up early and drove into colorado springs (we were staying just half an hour from fort collins which is where CSU is) to visit colorado college.
or THE colorado college.
anyways.
it was FREEEEZING. it must have been in the 40s, but there was no sun. and it was cloudy and windy.
we had an admissions speel (again) and i swear to god the lady said "colorado college" 37 times within the last 20 minutes of the speel. i am not making that up. i counted.
so i was like "pretentious, are we?"
that was a turn off.
but anyways then i had an interview.
and i don't really know why people make such big deals about them. it was a lot of fun. i just kind of talked a lot about what i do. lol.
and thennnn i went on a campus tour.
our tour guy was cute. lol.
a mix between justin bartha and ian somerhalder.
vair nice. lol.
and he totally had a thing for me too. it was fantastic. he was so cutely awkward.
anyways. i loved the campus. it was gorgeous. the weather was hell. but. meh.
so. here. i need to make my list of pros and cons.
CSU
pros
-big
-gorgeous campus
-honors program
-felt at pretty good there
-nice students
-pretty awesome academics
-lots of sports to make a great atmosphere
-ft. collins is AMAZING
-very down to earth
-real-world
-slightly more rural and less hustling around
-work on multiple subjects at a time
cons
-big (it's a pro and con)
-party scene?
-too competetive? (their honors program can probably get really competitive. though i hope not)
colorado college
pros
-small intimate classes (capped at 25 students)
-block system (3.5 weeks on one subject with a total of 8 blocks per year)
-ability for field study
-liberal arts
-substance free dorms (it's actually really important to me)
-on-campus living (i love on-campus living lol)
-creative writing, psych, classic classes
-not far from things that are outdoors
-can take several courses and then decide whether you like them within those 3.5 weeks rather than an entire semester
-concentrate on only one subject
cons
-block system
-too small?
-hard to transfer from CC to grad school
-hard to transfer from high school to CC
-too self-important and pretentious
-academic obsessive-ness/life-controlling-ness
-expensive
-bored of only one class
-not getting full feel of subject in just one month
-colorado springs isn't as awesome as fort collins
so. that is my list.
i think i like CSU better.
my dad didn't like CC at all lol.
anyways okay. so onto more important things.
boys.
so. i was waiting for paul to call or email me. for the past week.
i'd mentioned that i was coming to CSU at least like four times.
and each time, he hadn't replied to that part of the email.
and i was like "well. okay. i can take a hint."
so i sent him an email on like sunday, telling him that i was going to be on campus on friday. and he should call me.
blahblah.
anyways, i wasn't really surprised that he didn't call or email or whatever. and i was preparing myself for it.
so blah. i get back to dallas.
sad.
and i'm sitting at my desk, minding my OWN business.
when my phone rings.
annnnd it's paul.
laura's brain: WTFMAN.
so. he's all like "bah i just got your emaiiil! i feel really stupid now. i'm sorry i didn't call" blah etc, etc.
laura's brain: WTFMAN.
and. stuff.
and he was like "well. i mean. when are you going to the ranch?"
and so he decided that he'd definitely come see me this summer at the ranch.
which is only, oh, eight months away.
bleh. but i was like "well. i guess i might have to go back up to colorado before i make my choice about college..."
so. i don't know. BOYS. ARE. SO. INFURIATING.
anyways. there's a second part to this story.
i was sitting on the plane this morning (at an UNGODLY hour, might i add) and there was this empty seat next to me.
and i was like "dear god. if you love me. please send me a cute boy. who will sit next to me. the end."
and. there must be SOME god up there. because walking down the aisle comes this really cute guy. and he sits down next to me.
i mean well actually there was this whole argument about who was going to sit where. and at first this big old guy was like "i'll sit in 32D."
and i was like "BAHNOTALLOWED."
(DOESNOTWANT!)
and so finally this cute guy sits down.
and it's kind of. awkward. at first.
because.
he's cute.
i'm cute (bahahaha)
anyways. and so. finally i (yes, ME) started the conversation.
and it kind of just flew off from there.
he's from a suburb of where i live (frisco for all of you people who know me)
and plays football. receiver. very nice. finally not falling for a quarterback.
he's a senior out in frisco and we actually had a LOT in common.
it was crazy.
we talked most of the flight.
it was funnnn.
he was really cute and really sweet.
we exchanged AIM after the flight and i've yet to hear from him.
but. he's a boy.
so. not expecting anything really soon. lol.
anyways. so. yes. that was pretty awesome.
hopefully we can stay in contact.
and do stuff.
because he was pretty awesome.
so.
that has been my weekend.
a little action packed.
i've written most of my college essays.
the only ones that are left are the really boring ones.
"why do you want to attend so and so college?"
i mean. eww.
couldn't they think of BETTER questions?
trinity's questions are AWESOME. i love them.
"pick a fictional character to be your freshman roommate and explain why you chose him/her/it."
"how would you introduce yourself to your new roommmate in an email?"
"besides the obvious, what three things will you bring with you to college and why?"
AWESOMEEE.
so i finished trinity's application.
and CSU's.
and A&M's.
and i finished the common application. so.
PWND.
i just have to do rice and colorado college's suppliment questions.
which, as i've said are boring. and icky.
anyways. that's what i'm going to work on now.
so.
fartheewell.
boys are dumb.
the end.
OH.
AND CARRIE UNDERWOOD'S CD IS THE MOST AMAZING THING EVERRR.
omggggg GO BUY IT.
NOWWWWWWW.
NOW.
"the more men i meet
the more i love my dog."
i thought i had a pretty good idea.
but apparently i was wrong.
i was in colorado this weekend. visiting colleges.
let me rant about that for a few minutes.
friday i visited colorado state.
it was absolutely GORGEOUS.
the trees were all turning yellow and red for the fall.
just. stunning. i was so obsessed with them.
i had an admissions speel which was you know. fun.
lol. i hate those things.
and then i went on a tour. which was funnn.
i love tours.
the weather was SO like amazing.
it was about 50 degrees, but the sun was shining so it was really, really nice. i loved ittt.
the campus is also FANTASTIC. omg. it's amazing.
it was a nice mix of nature and buildings. there were trees everywhere, you could see the mountains from certain parts of the campus. the buildings were pretty.
and my dad and i were on campus for the most part of the day. and by the end of the day, i could tell where a lot of the stuff was. which is pretty awesome.
because there are about 25,000 kids there. 21,000 undergrad and 4,000 grad students. and for a fairly big campus it just didn't seem that big, you know? which was really awesome.
and thennn i had a meeting with a lady in the psych department. that was interesting. their psych program is pretty intense. it's really based a lot on science. which is fine with me. i actually love science. yes. nerd. lol.
so anyways yes. lol.
and then i had a meeting with the Honors Program director. which was fun also i suppose. i have a pretty good chance of getting in i think.
and theeeen. well we kind of wandered around.
and then we went home.
saturday we got up early and drove into colorado springs (we were staying just half an hour from fort collins which is where CSU is) to visit colorado college.
or THE colorado college.
anyways.
it was FREEEEZING. it must have been in the 40s, but there was no sun. and it was cloudy and windy.
we had an admissions speel (again) and i swear to god the lady said "colorado college" 37 times within the last 20 minutes of the speel. i am not making that up. i counted.
so i was like "pretentious, are we?"
that was a turn off.
but anyways then i had an interview.
and i don't really know why people make such big deals about them. it was a lot of fun. i just kind of talked a lot about what i do. lol.
and thennnn i went on a campus tour.
our tour guy was cute. lol.
a mix between justin bartha and ian somerhalder.
vair nice. lol.
and he totally had a thing for me too. it was fantastic. he was so cutely awkward.
anyways. i loved the campus. it was gorgeous. the weather was hell. but. meh.
so. here. i need to make my list of pros and cons.
CSU
pros
-big
-gorgeous campus
-honors program
-felt at pretty good there
-nice students
-pretty awesome academics
-lots of sports to make a great atmosphere
-ft. collins is AMAZING
-very down to earth
-real-world
-slightly more rural and less hustling around
-work on multiple subjects at a time
cons
-big (it's a pro and con)
-party scene?
-too competetive? (their honors program can probably get really competitive. though i hope not)
colorado college
pros
-small intimate classes (capped at 25 students)
-block system (3.5 weeks on one subject with a total of 8 blocks per year)
-ability for field study
-liberal arts
-substance free dorms (it's actually really important to me)
-on-campus living (i love on-campus living lol)
-creative writing, psych, classic classes
-not far from things that are outdoors
-can take several courses and then decide whether you like them within those 3.5 weeks rather than an entire semester
-concentrate on only one subject
cons
-block system
-too small?
-hard to transfer from CC to grad school
-hard to transfer from high school to CC
-too self-important and pretentious
-academic obsessive-ness/life-controlling-ness
-expensive
-bored of only one class
-not getting full feel of subject in just one month
-colorado springs isn't as awesome as fort collins
so. that is my list.
i think i like CSU better.
my dad didn't like CC at all lol.
anyways okay. so onto more important things.
boys.
so. i was waiting for paul to call or email me. for the past week.
i'd mentioned that i was coming to CSU at least like four times.
and each time, he hadn't replied to that part of the email.
and i was like "well. okay. i can take a hint."
so i sent him an email on like sunday, telling him that i was going to be on campus on friday. and he should call me.
blahblah.
anyways, i wasn't really surprised that he didn't call or email or whatever. and i was preparing myself for it.
so blah. i get back to dallas.
sad.
and i'm sitting at my desk, minding my OWN business.
when my phone rings.
annnnd it's paul.
laura's brain: WTFMAN.
so. he's all like "bah i just got your emaiiil! i feel really stupid now. i'm sorry i didn't call" blah etc, etc.
laura's brain: WTFMAN.
and. stuff.
and he was like "well. i mean. when are you going to the ranch?"
and so he decided that he'd definitely come see me this summer at the ranch.
which is only, oh, eight months away.
bleh. but i was like "well. i guess i might have to go back up to colorado before i make my choice about college..."
so. i don't know. BOYS. ARE. SO. INFURIATING.
anyways. there's a second part to this story.
i was sitting on the plane this morning (at an UNGODLY hour, might i add) and there was this empty seat next to me.
and i was like "dear god. if you love me. please send me a cute boy. who will sit next to me. the end."
and. there must be SOME god up there. because walking down the aisle comes this really cute guy. and he sits down next to me.
i mean well actually there was this whole argument about who was going to sit where. and at first this big old guy was like "i'll sit in 32D."
and i was like "BAHNOTALLOWED."
(DOESNOTWANT!)
and so finally this cute guy sits down.
and it's kind of. awkward. at first.
because.
he's cute.
i'm cute (bahahaha)
anyways. and so. finally i (yes, ME) started the conversation.
and it kind of just flew off from there.
he's from a suburb of where i live (frisco for all of you people who know me)
and plays football. receiver. very nice. finally not falling for a quarterback.
he's a senior out in frisco and we actually had a LOT in common.
it was crazy.
we talked most of the flight.
it was funnnn.
he was really cute and really sweet.
we exchanged AIM after the flight and i've yet to hear from him.
but. he's a boy.
so. not expecting anything really soon. lol.
anyways. so. yes. that was pretty awesome.
hopefully we can stay in contact.
and do stuff.
because he was pretty awesome.
so.
that has been my weekend.
a little action packed.
i've written most of my college essays.
the only ones that are left are the really boring ones.
"why do you want to attend so and so college?"
i mean. eww.
couldn't they think of BETTER questions?
trinity's questions are AWESOME. i love them.
"pick a fictional character to be your freshman roommate and explain why you chose him/her/it."
"how would you introduce yourself to your new roommmate in an email?"
"besides the obvious, what three things will you bring with you to college and why?"
AWESOMEEE.
so i finished trinity's application.
and CSU's.
and A&M's.
and i finished the common application. so.
PWND.
i just have to do rice and colorado college's suppliment questions.
which, as i've said are boring. and icky.
anyways. that's what i'm going to work on now.
so.
fartheewell.
boys are dumb.
the end.
OH.
AND CARRIE UNDERWOOD'S CD IS THE MOST AMAZING THING EVERRR.
omggggg GO BUY IT.
NOWWWWWWW.
NOW.
"the more men i meet
the more i love my dog."
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
number nine
should be doing english.
but i thought i'd post a poem i just wrote.
for creative writing.
the prompt was "write a poem bragging about yourself"
i had fun with this one. lol.
I am
Let me tell you something.
I
am
fantastic.
I am brilliant. Clever too.
I breathe Athena's exhale
like common oxygen.
And I can take words and
make them into something
beautiful, like stained glas.
I create characters like
God creates children.
They swim around aimlessly
in my stream of consciousness
until I pluck them out
and sculpt them.
I give them voices, habits,
ideas, dreams, feelings,
freckled shoulders,
crooked noses,
fat wrists, long toes,
blue-golden speckled eyes.
And they live inside me
waiting to be spilt so
brilliantly onto the page.
I am beautiful. Infinitely.
The angels cut locks of
their own hair to weave
onto my blessed head.
God took a bit of that
Colorado sky and put
it right into my eyes.
And I have curves.
And I love them.
I love my waist
and my breasts
and my hips.
I love my stomach
and my ass.
I love my small wrists
and slender neck
and regal collarbones.
I am compassionate. Too much.
I cry for problems that aren't mine.
My arms ache to hold
everyone who has a story.
I know what to say
and when to say it.
Strangers have ripped their souls
open for me when I've listened.
All for me and no one else.
I care for everyone
and anyone.
And sometimes my heart aches
with the weight of it all.
I am a good kid.
I know my place in my house
and I keep to it.
Unless they are wrong
and I am right.
But I'm always right.
I know my brother
better than my parents.
And when he does well,
he tells me first.
And I like who I am.
I live the life I wnt to.
My life is quiet and
understated.
They know what I do
because they've seen my do it
and not because I've told them.
Except for now.
and done.
yay.
i still have to do calc homework.
and do english.
ze endddd.
thanks for the comments. i want to join some kind of group so other people can read this stuff. i like having my stuff being read.
anyways.
ummm.
anyone who wants a copy of the CD. just. tell me?
nanny. whenever i see you (ie between now and christmas break), i shall give it to you, kay?
that is aaaalll.
okay. the end.
somethingsomething.
i'll post more poems later.
ones i've written earlier and am feeling.
like if i'm in a good mood, i'll post my "mud" one.
it is fantastically amazing.
goodddddd night.
but i thought i'd post a poem i just wrote.
for creative writing.
the prompt was "write a poem bragging about yourself"
i had fun with this one. lol.
I am
Let me tell you something.
I
am
fantastic.
I am brilliant. Clever too.
I breathe Athena's exhale
like common oxygen.
And I can take words and
make them into something
beautiful, like stained glas.
I create characters like
God creates children.
They swim around aimlessly
in my stream of consciousness
until I pluck them out
and sculpt them.
I give them voices, habits,
ideas, dreams, feelings,
freckled shoulders,
crooked noses,
fat wrists, long toes,
blue-golden speckled eyes.
And they live inside me
waiting to be spilt so
brilliantly onto the page.
I am beautiful. Infinitely.
The angels cut locks of
their own hair to weave
onto my blessed head.
God took a bit of that
Colorado sky and put
it right into my eyes.
And I have curves.
And I love them.
I love my waist
and my breasts
and my hips.
I love my stomach
and my ass.
I love my small wrists
and slender neck
and regal collarbones.
I am compassionate. Too much.
I cry for problems that aren't mine.
My arms ache to hold
everyone who has a story.
I know what to say
and when to say it.
Strangers have ripped their souls
open for me when I've listened.
All for me and no one else.
I care for everyone
and anyone.
And sometimes my heart aches
with the weight of it all.
I am a good kid.
I know my place in my house
and I keep to it.
Unless they are wrong
and I am right.
But I'm always right.
I know my brother
better than my parents.
And when he does well,
he tells me first.
And I like who I am.
I live the life I wnt to.
My life is quiet and
understated.
They know what I do
because they've seen my do it
and not because I've told them.
Except for now.
and done.
yay.
i still have to do calc homework.
and do english.
ze endddd.
thanks for the comments. i want to join some kind of group so other people can read this stuff. i like having my stuff being read.
anyways.
ummm.
anyone who wants a copy of the CD. just. tell me?
nanny. whenever i see you (ie between now and christmas break), i shall give it to you, kay?
that is aaaalll.
okay. the end.
somethingsomething.
i'll post more poems later.
ones i've written earlier and am feeling.
like if i'm in a good mood, i'll post my "mud" one.
it is fantastically amazing.
goodddddd night.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
number eight
i really need to do biology.
but here's a quick post.
HC was last night.
and i'm listening to my "when my heart cries" playlist.
guess how it went?
so first up is the list of the songs in the playlist.
and then a poem i wrote about last night.
capri- colbie caillat (this song makes me want to have a baby. really badly)
a modern myth- 30 seconds to mars (incredibly strong)
hate that i love you- rihanna (favorite song of hers)
white flag- dido
rescued- jack's mannequin
wherever you will go- the calling
my immortal- evanescence
i wrote this song- making april
we're so far away- mae
split screen sadness- john mayer (absolutely incredible)
i don't love you- my chemical romance (also incredible)
all of yours- making april
roses and butterflies- making april
it ends tonight- the all-american rejects
everything- lifehouse (gorgeous)
the kill (accoustic)- 30 seconds to mars (incredible. no words for it)
far away- nickelback
chance of a lifetime- mest
center state- the skyriter
smother me- the used (beautiful)
superman- five for fighting
tied together with a smile- taylor swift
when i go down- relient k
chasing cars- snow patrol
easy silence- dixie chicks
inside your heaven- carrie underwood
once in every lifetime- jem
teardrops on my guitar- taylor swift
city of devils- yellowcard
outside- staind
here without you- 3 doors down
wheel- john mayer
starts with goodbye- carrie underwood
too far gone- the all-american rejects
your guardian angel- the red jumpsuit apparatus (fantastically beautiful)
cold as you- taylor swift (story of my lifeeee)
that's where it is- carrie underwood
drops of jupiter- train
brand new day- forty foot echo
beautiful disaster (live)- kelly clarkson
the minstrel's prayer- cartel (amazing)
jesus, take the wheel- carrie underwood
huzzah.
my playlist.
and then the poem i wrote.
because i am insane.
and. bleh.
*sigh*
it's definitely on the verge of being stalker-ish.
but at the same time.
EVERYONE has felt like this.
or i hope so.
Inadequate
My dress matched your shirt
and I swore it was a sign.
I circled myself with others
but always kept an eye on you.
My hips and heart beat for you.
And when you wove through
the masses of raw hearts
and stopped just behind me,
I thought "we" might finally exist.
Your arms were around another
but your back was against mine
and I could feel your every move.
I rolled my hips against you and
you answered back loudly, earnestly.
And I thought that maybe, just maybe
this night might be the magic one.
One that didn't end in tears,
disappointment, inadequacy.
That someone, that he would want
me to bury my face in his neck and
to hide my insecurities in his chest.
That I might be able to brush my
fingertips like a whisper through
the hair at the nape of his neck.
That I could pull someone solid to myself
and feel his warmth and be unafraid.
The song ended and I felt your body leave
mine and I was left with missing coldness.
I never felt you again that night.
My fingers, my neck, my arms, my hips
all craved you again. To hold, to whisper.
To watch your chest rise and fall with mine.
And nothing more simple than that.
You wandered the room the rest of the night
and I stalked you with my eyes and heart.
You were looking, watching for someone.
And I begged for that someone to be me.
Please want me too.
Please end my eternal feelings of inadequacy.
Please save me from myself.
But our gemstone bridges were not enough
to bring you back to me again.
Not this night.
And I wonder now.
If I should give up on you.
Let you fall with the others
who didn't want me either.
And I would if I could.
But the answer of your hips,
your back pressed against mine.
your eyes locked on mine
keep me from snipping you away.
Don't tease me, boy.
But please, love, don't leave me.
but here's a quick post.
HC was last night.
and i'm listening to my "when my heart cries" playlist.
guess how it went?
so first up is the list of the songs in the playlist.
and then a poem i wrote about last night.
capri- colbie caillat (this song makes me want to have a baby. really badly)
a modern myth- 30 seconds to mars (incredibly strong)
hate that i love you- rihanna (favorite song of hers)
white flag- dido
rescued- jack's mannequin
wherever you will go- the calling
my immortal- evanescence
i wrote this song- making april
we're so far away- mae
split screen sadness- john mayer (absolutely incredible)
i don't love you- my chemical romance (also incredible)
all of yours- making april
roses and butterflies- making april
it ends tonight- the all-american rejects
everything- lifehouse (gorgeous)
the kill (accoustic)- 30 seconds to mars (incredible. no words for it)
far away- nickelback
chance of a lifetime- mest
center state- the skyriter
smother me- the used (beautiful)
superman- five for fighting
tied together with a smile- taylor swift
when i go down- relient k
chasing cars- snow patrol
easy silence- dixie chicks
inside your heaven- carrie underwood
once in every lifetime- jem
teardrops on my guitar- taylor swift
city of devils- yellowcard
outside- staind
here without you- 3 doors down
wheel- john mayer
starts with goodbye- carrie underwood
too far gone- the all-american rejects
your guardian angel- the red jumpsuit apparatus (fantastically beautiful)
cold as you- taylor swift (story of my lifeeee)
that's where it is- carrie underwood
drops of jupiter- train
brand new day- forty foot echo
beautiful disaster (live)- kelly clarkson
the minstrel's prayer- cartel (amazing)
jesus, take the wheel- carrie underwood
huzzah.
my playlist.
and then the poem i wrote.
because i am insane.
and. bleh.
*sigh*
it's definitely on the verge of being stalker-ish.
but at the same time.
EVERYONE has felt like this.
or i hope so.
Inadequate
My dress matched your shirt
and I swore it was a sign.
I circled myself with others
but always kept an eye on you.
My hips and heart beat for you.
And when you wove through
the masses of raw hearts
and stopped just behind me,
I thought "we" might finally exist.
Your arms were around another
but your back was against mine
and I could feel your every move.
I rolled my hips against you and
you answered back loudly, earnestly.
And I thought that maybe, just maybe
this night might be the magic one.
One that didn't end in tears,
disappointment, inadequacy.
That someone, that he would want
me to bury my face in his neck and
to hide my insecurities in his chest.
That I might be able to brush my
fingertips like a whisper through
the hair at the nape of his neck.
That I could pull someone solid to myself
and feel his warmth and be unafraid.
The song ended and I felt your body leave
mine and I was left with missing coldness.
I never felt you again that night.
My fingers, my neck, my arms, my hips
all craved you again. To hold, to whisper.
To watch your chest rise and fall with mine.
And nothing more simple than that.
You wandered the room the rest of the night
and I stalked you with my eyes and heart.
You were looking, watching for someone.
And I begged for that someone to be me.
Please want me too.
Please end my eternal feelings of inadequacy.
Please save me from myself.
But our gemstone bridges were not enough
to bring you back to me again.
Not this night.
And I wonder now.
If I should give up on you.
Let you fall with the others
who didn't want me either.
And I would if I could.
But the answer of your hips,
your back pressed against mine.
your eyes locked on mine
keep me from snipping you away.
Don't tease me, boy.
But please, love, don't leave me.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
number seven
i'm listening to my "dance fur realz" playlist.
because. i'm awesome.
let me list the songs for yooou.
because i CAN.
stronger- kayne west (omfgLOVEEEEEEEEE)
carwash (sharktale mix) - Christina Aguliera & Missy Eliot
bouncing off the ceiling (upside down) - A*Teens (omgilovea*teens)
broken hearts parade- good charlotte (probably the best song on the album. my second favorite)
fergalicious - fergie (you know you have this song)
mamma mia- A*Teens
lollipop- mika (MIKAAAAAA!)
come on eileen - dexy's midnight runners (wtfawesomebandname. this is our latin anthem)
shut up and drive- rihanna (iloveher)
ain't no other man - christina aguilera
don't stop the music- rihanna (my favorite of hers. wait, no, second favorite)
i'm better- ashley parker angel (don't hate. he's awesome)
everytime we touch- cascada
breakin' dishes- rihanna
stronger- britney spears (back before she was nuts)
the church of hot addiction- cobra starship (LOVE!GABE!)
oops!... i did it again- britney spears
breakthrough- hope 7
dance, dance- fall out boy
stronger- kayne west (yes. again)
thnks fr th mmrs- fall out boy
grace kelly- mika (BAHLOVESQUEE)
come on over (all i want is you)- christina aguilera
dance floor anthem- good charlotte (MYFAVORITEEE)
girlfriend- avril lavigne (this is so my life story)
umbrella- rihanna
of all the gin joints in all the world- fall out boy
stronger- kanye (yes. again)
candyman- christina aguilera (there's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm)
suspect- daniel powter (omgmostaddicting song EVER)
the end.
anyways.
tonight's homecoming dance.
got no date.
but i got some frieeends.
it'll be fun.
but if no boys ask me to dance, so help me god.
i will raise hell.
let me ask you
hey
have you heard of my RELIGION?
it's called THE CHURCH OF HOT ADDICTION
we believe.
that god.
has lust.
for everything.
tonight i am the drug you can't deny.
my light is electric.
just let me tell you hey
you gotta get the cobra blessed now.
you're really only selling sex now.
but i can pay the price you charge for what i mean.
because i
i got a nasty new convulsion
and you've already got a notion.
LOVEEEE.
anyways.
so.
staying positive for tonight.
i will actually be genuinely surprised and MAD if i do not get asked to dance.
zanzi and i have made a pact about two certain boys. if one of us asks our boy, the other one will have to ask their boy.
doubt it'll happen.
but hey.
saw my childhood/eternal love last night.
he showed up at the football game.
which was a FANTASTIC surprise. i was SO happy to see him.
it was one of those movie-moments.
and we hugged.
that was fantastic.
he was warm.
and wearing his stupid hat. but. whatever.
i still love him.
we chatted for a bit and then. he kind of went off.
stupid.
and he left without saying goodbye.
that is so typical of my lifeee.
anyways.
i wrote a poem about him.
i'm going to give it to him.
sometime.
i don't know when.
before we go off to college.
he deserves to know how i feel.
and now i shall POST IT!
YAY.
i'm not that innocent.
you see my problem is still
i'm dreaming away
wishing somethingsomething
i cry watching the days.
can't you see i'm a fool in so many ways.
but to lose all my senses.
that is just so typically me.
baby oh.
oops.
i did it again.
i played with your heart.
got lost in the game.
oh baby baby
you think i'm in love.
that i'm sent from above.
i'm not that innocent.
that is not the poem.
it is britney spears.
duh.
and it definitely doesn't describe ANYTHING in my life.
lolololol.
To the boy who will never read this
I've been in love with you since we were three.
And I bet you haven't got a clue.
Today, the sleeve of your forest green polo
pulled up on your dark, sinewy arm and exposed
an inch-long, smooth pink scar-- the only
imperfection you seem capable of bearing.
And I longed to stretch my fingers and brush it.
To feel something that makes you human.
To rub it softly and make it go away
because I feared it might still hurt you.
One night you almost died.
And I thought my world would
shatter into a million little pieces.
And when I saw you that Sunday,
I wanted to throw my arms around
your neck and bury my face in your chest
and never let you leave my sight again.
But I didn't.
And you don't know.
I've wondered if I disappeared...
If I vanished into nothingness.
Would your world shatter?
Or would I roll off your shoulders
like the rain runs off the roof?
You've bruised my heart too many times to count.
And you don't even know.
I could tell you.
But my heart fears the final not of rejection
which you would so assuredly cast down.
It prefers the untouchable wonder of dreams.
Some day, we will both leave this place.
Separate roads, taking us heavens apart.
But you will never be alone.
Because you've taken a piece of me with you.
And I will kneel every night and pray
that you find what you're looking for
and that our paths cross again.
But if they don't.
Stay beautiful.
the end.
because. i'm awesome.
let me list the songs for yooou.
because i CAN.
stronger- kayne west (omfgLOVEEEEEEEEE)
carwash (sharktale mix) - Christina Aguliera & Missy Eliot
bouncing off the ceiling (upside down) - A*Teens (omgilovea*teens)
broken hearts parade- good charlotte (probably the best song on the album. my second favorite)
fergalicious - fergie (you know you have this song)
mamma mia- A*Teens
lollipop- mika (MIKAAAAAA!)
come on eileen - dexy's midnight runners (wtfawesomebandname. this is our latin anthem)
shut up and drive- rihanna (iloveher)
ain't no other man - christina aguilera
don't stop the music- rihanna (my favorite of hers. wait, no, second favorite)
i'm better- ashley parker angel (don't hate. he's awesome)
everytime we touch- cascada
breakin' dishes- rihanna
stronger- britney spears (back before she was nuts)
the church of hot addiction- cobra starship (LOVE!GABE!)
oops!... i did it again- britney spears
breakthrough- hope 7
dance, dance- fall out boy
stronger- kayne west (yes. again)
thnks fr th mmrs- fall out boy
grace kelly- mika (BAHLOVESQUEE)
come on over (all i want is you)- christina aguilera
dance floor anthem- good charlotte (MYFAVORITEEE)
girlfriend- avril lavigne (this is so my life story)
umbrella- rihanna
of all the gin joints in all the world- fall out boy
stronger- kanye (yes. again)
candyman- christina aguilera (there's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm)
suspect- daniel powter (omgmostaddicting song EVER)
the end.
anyways.
tonight's homecoming dance.
got no date.
but i got some frieeends.
it'll be fun.
but if no boys ask me to dance, so help me god.
i will raise hell.
let me ask you
hey
have you heard of my RELIGION?
it's called THE CHURCH OF HOT ADDICTION
we believe.
that god.
has lust.
for everything.
tonight i am the drug you can't deny.
my light is electric.
just let me tell you hey
you gotta get the cobra blessed now.
you're really only selling sex now.
but i can pay the price you charge for what i mean.
because i
i got a nasty new convulsion
and you've already got a notion.
LOVEEEE.
anyways.
so.
staying positive for tonight.
i will actually be genuinely surprised and MAD if i do not get asked to dance.
zanzi and i have made a pact about two certain boys. if one of us asks our boy, the other one will have to ask their boy.
doubt it'll happen.
but hey.
saw my childhood/eternal love last night.
he showed up at the football game.
which was a FANTASTIC surprise. i was SO happy to see him.
it was one of those movie-moments.
and we hugged.
that was fantastic.
he was warm.
and wearing his stupid hat. but. whatever.
i still love him.
we chatted for a bit and then. he kind of went off.
stupid.
and he left without saying goodbye.
that is so typical of my lifeee.
anyways.
i wrote a poem about him.
i'm going to give it to him.
sometime.
i don't know when.
before we go off to college.
he deserves to know how i feel.
and now i shall POST IT!
YAY.
i'm not that innocent.
you see my problem is still
i'm dreaming away
wishing somethingsomething
i cry watching the days.
can't you see i'm a fool in so many ways.
but to lose all my senses.
that is just so typically me.
baby oh.
oops.
i did it again.
i played with your heart.
got lost in the game.
oh baby baby
you think i'm in love.
that i'm sent from above.
i'm not that innocent.
that is not the poem.
it is britney spears.
duh.
and it definitely doesn't describe ANYTHING in my life.
lolololol.
To the boy who will never read this
I've been in love with you since we were three.
And I bet you haven't got a clue.
Today, the sleeve of your forest green polo
pulled up on your dark, sinewy arm and exposed
an inch-long, smooth pink scar-- the only
imperfection you seem capable of bearing.
And I longed to stretch my fingers and brush it.
To feel something that makes you human.
To rub it softly and make it go away
because I feared it might still hurt you.
One night you almost died.
And I thought my world would
shatter into a million little pieces.
And when I saw you that Sunday,
I wanted to throw my arms around
your neck and bury my face in your chest
and never let you leave my sight again.
But I didn't.
And you don't know.
I've wondered if I disappeared...
If I vanished into nothingness.
Would your world shatter?
Or would I roll off your shoulders
like the rain runs off the roof?
You've bruised my heart too many times to count.
And you don't even know.
I could tell you.
But my heart fears the final not of rejection
which you would so assuredly cast down.
It prefers the untouchable wonder of dreams.
Some day, we will both leave this place.
Separate roads, taking us heavens apart.
But you will never be alone.
Because you've taken a piece of me with you.
And I will kneel every night and pray
that you find what you're looking for
and that our paths cross again.
But if they don't.
Stay beautiful.
the end.
Monday, October 8, 2007
number six
so. i feel like typing lyrics.
because they're kind of describing a certain situation i've been in for awhile.
long story short:
girl meets boy.
girl thinks boy's a punk. but a cute punk.
boy flirts with girl.
girl likes boy more.
boy likes girl more.
girl and boy spend time together.
girl falls hard.
boy decides to ignore girl after a few days.
girl gets feelings hurt.
boy likes girl's friends.
girl's friend like boy.
girl gets more hurt.
girl tries to be friend with boy.
boy shuns attempts.
girl aches.
boy doesn't seem to care.
girl gets over boy.
but girl still feels attached to boy.
i love taylor swift.
you have a way of coming easily to me.
and when you take, you take the very best of me.
so i start a fight
because i need to feel something.
you do what you want because i'm not what you wanted.
oh what a shame.
what a rainy ending given to a perfect day.
just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say.
now i'm sitting here thinking it through,
i've never been anywhere cold as you.
you put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey.
and i stood there loving you and wished them all away.
and you come away with a great little story.
of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you.
oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day.
just walk away. no use defending words you will never say.
now that i'm sitting here thinking it through,
i've never been anywhere cold as you.
you never did give a damn thing, honey.
but i cried, cried for you.
and i know you wouldn't have told nobody if i died,
died for you.
died for you.
oh what a shame.
what a rainy ending given to a perfect day.
every smile you fake is so condescending.
counting all the scars you made.
now that i'm sitting here thinking it through,
i've never been anywhere cold as you.
words don't even describe how perfectly this song fits.
basically.
the bold/italized especially.
a;skldjfkldj.
life.
because they're kind of describing a certain situation i've been in for awhile.
long story short:
girl meets boy.
girl thinks boy's a punk. but a cute punk.
boy flirts with girl.
girl likes boy more.
boy likes girl more.
girl and boy spend time together.
girl falls hard.
boy decides to ignore girl after a few days.
girl gets feelings hurt.
boy likes girl's friends.
girl's friend like boy.
girl gets more hurt.
girl tries to be friend with boy.
boy shuns attempts.
girl aches.
boy doesn't seem to care.
girl gets over boy.
but girl still feels attached to boy.
i love taylor swift.
you have a way of coming easily to me.
and when you take, you take the very best of me.
so i start a fight
because i need to feel something.
you do what you want because i'm not what you wanted.
oh what a shame.
what a rainy ending given to a perfect day.
just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say.
now i'm sitting here thinking it through,
i've never been anywhere cold as you.
you put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey.
and i stood there loving you and wished them all away.
and you come away with a great little story.
of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you.
oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day.
just walk away. no use defending words you will never say.
now that i'm sitting here thinking it through,
i've never been anywhere cold as you.
you never did give a damn thing, honey.
but i cried, cried for you.
and i know you wouldn't have told nobody if i died,
died for you.
died for you.
oh what a shame.
what a rainy ending given to a perfect day.
every smile you fake is so condescending.
counting all the scars you made.
now that i'm sitting here thinking it through,
i've never been anywhere cold as you.
words don't even describe how perfectly this song fits.
basically.
the bold/italized especially.
a;skldjfkldj.
life.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
number five
so. you know what sucks?
life.
it just really does.
i cannot wait to fucking get away from dallas.
because here's the deal.
there's this guy. (how cliche, honestly).
and. long story short, we had a thing going for a few days, and then boom, he stops liking me.
but that doesn't mean that i stopped liking him.
so. now he likes one of my good friends. and i honestly could never see her ever really... dating him. i could see her liking him because he showers attention on her. but. what matters to her has always seemed to be image. and. he just doesn't fit that.
but. apparently. i'm wrong.
she has in fact admitted to another one of my friends that, oh, whoops, she likes him.
i never know anything.
anyways.
i'm not exactly sure what i'm trying to say.
but because of this boy i tend to now be excluded from any activities that they do. because he always gets invited. and to keep things from getting awkard. i am therefore not.
and i guess. i kind of understand that. i wouldn't have liked to be there with them if he was there with them. because he's acts differently when he's around them. and i would have been beating myself up.
but it still hurts all the same, right?
but i've come to a conclusion.
i may still like him.
but i'm just going to leave him alone.
just leave the two of them alone.
if they want to go out, then go for it.
one of my friends was like "the thing between you and him was just a two day thing."
true. it was. he liked me for about two days. and then changed his mind. or something. i really don't know.
but i liked him more than two days.
god only knows why.
because i sure as hell don't know why.
but. i'm just going to leave him alone.
i'm still going to like him, i guess.
but there's nothing i can do.
he likes her.
she likes him.
match made in heaven if you ask me.
i'm not going to deny either one of them each other. that's stupid.
we wouldn't have worked out anyways.
i am not a nomad.
i am not a rocketman.
i was born a house cat.
what's funny is.
i seem to care a lot about these people.
but they don't give a shit about me.
maybe it's sad.
but it's my life.
another funny thing is. this girl. who he likes. and who likes him.
turns out that she likes this other guy.
and so she's "confused" between which one she should go for.
...
okay. may i be completely honest here?
this other guy.
no way in hell. would he ever, ever date her.
ever.
i've been wrong about somethings before.
but i am not wrong about this.
and i'm just like "OMFG. stick with ONE of them."
it's just annoying.
and also.
i like both of them too.
and. i'm going to be really bitchy here.
i > her.
honestly.
she is a complete. ditz.
and i. am not.
i don't even think she's that pretty.
i'm being very bitchy.
and i kind of like it.
anyways.
but. i just got off the phone with my hero-girl. who agrees with me on all accounts.
so. we've decided that we're just going to let what happens, happen.
he'll probably get his heartbroken when she dumps him for someone better
but that's a lesson he needs to learn.
and i'll be waiting.
and i don't know where you went when you left me.
but says here in the water you must be gone by now.
i can tell somehow
one hand on the trigger of a telephone.
wondering when the call comes.
where you say it's alright.
you got your heart right.
so maybe i'll sleep inside my coat.
and wait on your porch until you come home alright.
i can't find a flight.
i can't find a flight.
we share the sadness.
split screen sadness.
two arms (wrongs) make it all alright tonight.
"all you need is love" is a lie because
we had a love.
but we still said goodbye.
now we're tired, battered fighters.
and it stings when it's nobody's fault
because there's nothing to blame.
at the drop of your name...
it's only the air you took.
and the breath you left.
so i'll check the weather wherever you are.
because i want to know if you can see the stars tonight.
i call
because
i just
need to
feel you on the line.
don't hang up this time.
i know it was me who called it over...
but i still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day.
don't let me get away.
because i can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me.
so i can say "this is they way i used to be."
there's no substitute for time.
or the sadness.
split screen sadness.
i still wish you'd fought me til your dying day.
don't let me get away.
life.
it just really does.
i cannot wait to fucking get away from dallas.
because here's the deal.
there's this guy. (how cliche, honestly).
and. long story short, we had a thing going for a few days, and then boom, he stops liking me.
but that doesn't mean that i stopped liking him.
so. now he likes one of my good friends. and i honestly could never see her ever really... dating him. i could see her liking him because he showers attention on her. but. what matters to her has always seemed to be image. and. he just doesn't fit that.
but. apparently. i'm wrong.
she has in fact admitted to another one of my friends that, oh, whoops, she likes him.
i never know anything.
anyways.
i'm not exactly sure what i'm trying to say.
but because of this boy i tend to now be excluded from any activities that they do. because he always gets invited. and to keep things from getting awkard. i am therefore not.
and i guess. i kind of understand that. i wouldn't have liked to be there with them if he was there with them. because he's acts differently when he's around them. and i would have been beating myself up.
but it still hurts all the same, right?
but i've come to a conclusion.
i may still like him.
but i'm just going to leave him alone.
just leave the two of them alone.
if they want to go out, then go for it.
one of my friends was like "the thing between you and him was just a two day thing."
true. it was. he liked me for about two days. and then changed his mind. or something. i really don't know.
but i liked him more than two days.
god only knows why.
because i sure as hell don't know why.
but. i'm just going to leave him alone.
i'm still going to like him, i guess.
but there's nothing i can do.
he likes her.
she likes him.
match made in heaven if you ask me.
i'm not going to deny either one of them each other. that's stupid.
we wouldn't have worked out anyways.
i am not a nomad.
i am not a rocketman.
i was born a house cat.
what's funny is.
i seem to care a lot about these people.
but they don't give a shit about me.
maybe it's sad.
but it's my life.
another funny thing is. this girl. who he likes. and who likes him.
turns out that she likes this other guy.
and so she's "confused" between which one she should go for.
...
okay. may i be completely honest here?
this other guy.
no way in hell. would he ever, ever date her.
ever.
i've been wrong about somethings before.
but i am not wrong about this.
and i'm just like "OMFG. stick with ONE of them."
it's just annoying.
and also.
i like both of them too.
and. i'm going to be really bitchy here.
i > her.
honestly.
she is a complete. ditz.
and i. am not.
i don't even think she's that pretty.
i'm being very bitchy.
and i kind of like it.
anyways.
but. i just got off the phone with my hero-girl. who agrees with me on all accounts.
so. we've decided that we're just going to let what happens, happen.
he'll probably get his heartbroken when she dumps him for someone better
but that's a lesson he needs to learn.
and i'll be waiting.
and i don't know where you went when you left me.
but says here in the water you must be gone by now.
i can tell somehow
one hand on the trigger of a telephone.
wondering when the call comes.
where you say it's alright.
you got your heart right.
so maybe i'll sleep inside my coat.
and wait on your porch until you come home alright.
i can't find a flight.
i can't find a flight.
we share the sadness.
split screen sadness.
two arms (wrongs) make it all alright tonight.
"all you need is love" is a lie because
we had a love.
but we still said goodbye.
now we're tired, battered fighters.
and it stings when it's nobody's fault
because there's nothing to blame.
at the drop of your name...
it's only the air you took.
and the breath you left.
so i'll check the weather wherever you are.
because i want to know if you can see the stars tonight.
i call
because
i just
need to
feel you on the line.
don't hang up this time.
i know it was me who called it over...
but i still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day.
don't let me get away.
because i can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me.
so i can say "this is they way i used to be."
there's no substitute for time.
or the sadness.
split screen sadness.
i still wish you'd fought me til your dying day.
don't let me get away.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
number four
i hope this is number four, but i can't remember.
anyways.
i'm updating. because the nanny. made me.
ILOVEYOU.
(...)
lol.
IWANTTOGOTOCOLORADODAMMIT.
anyways.
i'm updating. because the nanny. made me.
ILOVEYOU.
(...)
lol.
IWANTTOGOTOCOLORADODAMMIT.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
number three
i still have to do my calc. homework and study for an econ test.
so instead of a normal post, i decided to post some poems i've written for creative writing.
(Unre)Quieted Suffering
I find pieces of you everywhere.
A secluded memory I’ve buried carefully.
The half-swagger of the boy in the hallway.
Your eyes in a rock in my tire treads.
And I can’t explain you.
Anymore than I can describe
The color of water.
And I wonder
if you wonder.
Did you know
what you could do to me?
“There’s nothing more dangerous
than a boy with charm.”
Hey stranger.
Wish me on a star?
And I watched you dance
for her in the streetlit parking lot.
Watching you watching her.
Watching you dancing for her.
Desperately groping for the volume of my mind
as you flood back, breaking the dams I made.
That little purple flower you picked
as we walked—it lay on my dresser.
Wilted now. Fragile to the touch.
Everglowing purple.
Hey stranger.
Wish me please.
[Untitled]
Be my impossibility.
You sink into me
like a thick fog.
I inhale and submerge myself.
You will suffocate me.
And I would let you.
But all I need to save myself
is to turn and leave you.
Be my poison.
I dazzle for you.
so instead of a normal post, i decided to post some poems i've written for creative writing.
(Unre)Quieted Suffering
I find pieces of you everywhere.
A secluded memory I’ve buried carefully.
The half-swagger of the boy in the hallway.
Your eyes in a rock in my tire treads.
And I can’t explain you.
Anymore than I can describe
The color of water.
And I wonder
if you wonder.
Did you know
what you could do to me?
“There’s nothing more dangerous
than a boy with charm.”
Hey stranger.
Wish me on a star?
And I watched you dance
for her in the streetlit parking lot.
Watching you watching her.
Watching you dancing for her.
Desperately groping for the volume of my mind
as you flood back, breaking the dams I made.
That little purple flower you picked
as we walked—it lay on my dresser.
Wilted now. Fragile to the touch.
Everglowing purple.
Hey stranger.
Wish me please.
[Untitled]
Be my impossibility.
You sink into me
like a thick fog.
I inhale and submerge myself.
You will suffocate me.
And I would let you.
But all I need to save myself
is to turn and leave you.
Be my poison.
I dazzle for you.
-sidera
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
number two
I THINK. THAT ZANZIBAR GEORGE.
IS THE COOLEST PERSON.
EVER.
AND I LOVE HER.
MORE THAN ANYONE.
SO HA.
the end.
I'M GOING TO SHOWER NOW.
IS THE COOLEST PERSON.
EVER.
AND I LOVE HER.
MORE THAN ANYONE.
SO HA.
the end.
I'M GOING TO SHOWER NOW.
number one
basically. i'm just posting a little somethingsomething to start the blogging business off.
i've blogged before.
and i heart it.
mostly with xanga and opendiary.
anyways. um.
i'm trying to think of something fascinating to say.
but i'm miserably failing.
pretty much, i'm just going to go take a shower.
and then go to bed.
because i am tired.
and senior year sucks.
it is not glorious and amazing like everyone brags about it.
no.
boo.
well i mean.
it might just be because i'm taking three AP courses.
but you know. whatever.
ANYWAYS. i'm going to shower.
and do stuff.
like sleeping.
to z- i heart you lots. more than anything. don't you dare forget it. (ge out)
to d- OMGHI. eat lunch with us, whore.
to nanny- we copied you. it's because we're so cool. let's start a petition for stacy and clinton to adopt us.
-sidera
i've blogged before.
and i heart it.
mostly with xanga and opendiary.
anyways. um.
i'm trying to think of something fascinating to say.
but i'm miserably failing.
pretty much, i'm just going to go take a shower.
and then go to bed.
because i am tired.
and senior year sucks.
it is not glorious and amazing like everyone brags about it.
no.
boo.
well i mean.
it might just be because i'm taking three AP courses.
but you know. whatever.
ANYWAYS. i'm going to shower.
and do stuff.
like sleeping.
to z- i heart you lots. more than anything. don't you dare forget it. (ge out)
to d- OMGHI. eat lunch with us, whore.
to nanny- we copied you. it's because we're so cool. let's start a petition for stacy and clinton to adopt us.
-sidera
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