number five

so. you know what sucks?

life.

it just really does.

i cannot wait to fucking get away from dallas.

because here's the deal.

there's this guy. (how cliche, honestly).

and. long story short, we had a thing going for a few days, and then boom, he stops liking me.


but that doesn't mean that i stopped liking him.

so. now he likes one of my good friends. and i honestly could never see her ever really... dating him. i could see her liking him because he showers attention on her. but. what matters to her has always seemed to be image. and. he just doesn't fit that.





but. apparently. i'm wrong.

she has in fact admitted to another one of my friends that, oh, whoops, she likes him.

i never know anything.

anyways.



i'm not exactly sure what i'm trying to say.

but because of this boy i tend to now be excluded from any activities that they do. because he always gets invited. and to keep things from getting awkard. i am therefore not.

and i guess. i kind of understand that. i wouldn't have liked to be there with them if he was there with them. because he's acts differently when he's around them. and i would have been beating myself up.

but it still hurts all the same, right?

but i've come to a conclusion.

i may still like him.

but i'm just going to leave him alone.
just leave the two of them alone.
if they want to go out, then go for it.

one of my friends was like "the thing between you and him was just a two day thing."

true. it was. he liked me for about two days. and then changed his mind. or something. i really don't know.

but i liked him more than two days.
god only knows why.
because i sure as hell don't know why.

but. i'm just going to leave him alone.
i'm still going to like him, i guess.
but there's nothing i can do.

he likes her.
she likes him.

match made in heaven if you ask me.

i'm not going to deny either one of them each other. that's stupid.
we wouldn't have worked out anyways.













i am not a nomad.
i am not a rocketman.





i was born a house cat.













what's funny is.
i seem to care a lot about these people.

but they don't give a shit about me.

maybe it's sad.

but it's my life.







another funny thing is. this girl. who he likes. and who likes him.
turns out that she likes this other guy.
and so she's "confused" between which one she should go for.

...


okay. may i be completely honest here?

this other guy.
no way in hell. would he ever, ever date her.
ever.

i've been wrong about somethings before.
but i am not wrong about this.

and i'm just like "OMFG. stick with ONE of them."

it's just annoying.

and also.
i like both of them too.

and. i'm going to be really bitchy here.
i > her.

honestly.
she is a complete. ditz.
and i. am not.

i don't even think she's that pretty.

i'm being very bitchy.
and i kind of like it.

anyways.


but. i just got off the phone with my hero-girl. who agrees with me on all accounts.
so. we've decided that we're just going to let what happens, happen.

he'll probably get his heartbroken when she dumps him for someone better

but that's a lesson he needs to learn.


and i'll be waiting.












and i don't know where you went when you left me.
but says here in the water you must be gone by now.

i can tell somehow


one hand on the trigger of a telephone.
wondering when the call comes.
where you say it's alright.
you got your heart right.


so maybe i'll sleep inside my coat.
and wait on your porch until you come home alright.
i can't find a flight.

i can't find a flight.


we share the sadness.
split screen sadness.

two arms (wrongs) make it all alright tonight.


"all you need is love" is a lie because
we had a love.
but we still said goodbye.
now we're tired, battered fighters.



and it stings when it's nobody's fault
because there's nothing to blame.
at the drop of your name...

it's only the air you took.
and the breath you left.

so i'll check the weather wherever you are.
because i want to know if you can see the stars tonight.

i call
because
i just
need to
feel you on the line.

don't hang up this time.

i know it was me who called it over...




but i still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day.
don't let me get away.






because i can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me.
so i can say "this is they way i used to be."

there's no substitute for time.
or the sadness.



split screen sadness.







i still wish you'd fought me til your dying day.
don't let me get away.