number seven

i'm listening to my "dance fur realz" playlist.
because. i'm awesome.
let me list the songs for yooou.
because i CAN.

stronger- kayne west (omfgLOVEEEEEEEEE)
carwash (sharktale mix) - Christina Aguliera & Missy Eliot
bouncing off the ceiling (upside down) - A*Teens (omgilovea*teens)
broken hearts parade- good charlotte (probably the best song on the album. my second favorite)
fergalicious - fergie (you know you have this song)
mamma mia- A*Teens
lollipop- mika (MIKAAAAAA!)
come on eileen - dexy's midnight runners (wtfawesomebandname. this is our latin anthem)
shut up and drive- rihanna (iloveher)
ain't no other man - christina aguilera
don't stop the music- rihanna (my favorite of hers. wait, no, second favorite)
i'm better- ashley parker angel (don't hate. he's awesome)
everytime we touch- cascada
breakin' dishes- rihanna
stronger- britney spears (back before she was nuts)
the church of hot addiction- cobra starship (LOVE!GABE!)
oops!... i did it again- britney spears
breakthrough- hope 7
dance, dance- fall out boy
stronger- kayne west (yes. again)
thnks fr th mmrs- fall out boy
grace kelly- mika (BAHLOVESQUEE)
come on over (all i want is you)- christina aguilera
dance floor anthem- good charlotte (MYFAVORITEEE)
girlfriend- avril lavigne (this is so my life story)
umbrella- rihanna
of all the gin joints in all the world- fall out boy
stronger- kanye (yes. again)
candyman- christina aguilera (there's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm)
suspect- daniel powter (omgmostaddicting song EVER)

the end.

anyways.
tonight's homecoming dance.
got no date.
but i got some frieeends.
it'll be fun.

but if no boys ask me to dance, so help me god.
i will raise hell.


let me ask you
hey
have you heard of my RELIGION?
it's called THE CHURCH OF HOT ADDICTION
we believe.
that god.
has lust.
for everything.




tonight i am the drug you can't deny.





my light is electric.




just let me tell you hey
you gotta get the cobra blessed now.
you're really only selling sex now.
but i can pay the price you charge for what i mean.
because i
i got a nasty new convulsion
and you've already got a notion.







LOVEEEE.

anyways.
so.
staying positive for tonight.

i will actually be genuinely surprised and MAD if i do not get asked to dance.

zanzi and i have made a pact about two certain boys. if one of us asks our boy, the other one will have to ask their boy.
doubt it'll happen.
but hey.

saw my childhood/eternal love last night.
he showed up at the football game.
which was a FANTASTIC surprise. i was SO happy to see him.
it was one of those movie-moments.
and we hugged.
that was fantastic.
he was warm.
and wearing his stupid hat. but. whatever.
i still love him.
we chatted for a bit and then. he kind of went off.
stupid.
and he left without saying goodbye.

that is so typical of my lifeee.
anyways.

i wrote a poem about him.
i'm going to give it to him.
sometime.
i don't know when.
before we go off to college.
he deserves to know how i feel.

and now i shall POST IT!
YAY.

i'm not that innocent.

you see my problem is still
i'm dreaming away
wishing somethingsomething

i cry watching the days.
can't you see i'm a fool in so many ways.
but to lose all my senses.
that is just so typically me.

baby oh.

oops.
i did it again.
i played with your heart.
got lost in the game.
oh baby baby
you think i'm in love.
that i'm sent from above.
i'm not that innocent.



that is not the poem.
it is britney spears.
duh.
and it definitely doesn't describe ANYTHING in my life.
lolololol.




To the boy who will never read this

I've been in love with you since we were three.
And I bet you haven't got a clue.

Today, the sleeve of your forest green polo
pulled up on your dark, sinewy arm and exposed
an inch-long, smooth pink scar-- the only
imperfection you seem capable of bearing.

And I longed to stretch my fingers and brush it.
To feel something that makes you human.
To rub it softly and make it go away
because I feared it might still hurt you.

One night you almost died.
And I thought my world would
shatter into a million little pieces.
And when I saw you that Sunday,
I wanted to throw my arms around
your neck and bury my face in your chest
and never let you leave my sight again.

But I didn't.
And you don't know.

I've wondered if I disappeared...
If I vanished into nothingness.
Would your world shatter?
Or would I roll off your shoulders
like the rain runs off the roof?

You've bruised my heart too many times to count.
And you don't even know.

I could tell you.

But my heart fears the final not of rejection
which you would so assuredly cast down.
It prefers the untouchable wonder of dreams.

Some day, we will both leave this place.
Separate roads, taking us heavens apart.
But you will never be alone.
Because you've taken a piece of me with you.
And I will kneel every night and pray
that you find what you're looking for
and that our paths cross again.

But if they don't.
Stay beautiful.



the end.