number eleven

today is halloween.
just in case you were wondering.

but i need to post a series of poems about a relationship between me and someone. relationship as in friendship but something a lot more complicated.
i think.
i really don't know.

anyways.

enjoy.

they were written over a two or three month course.





The Beginning

And so he sat.
His shoulders
hunched.
His voice was still.
As if the wind
had ceased tearing
through his branches.
I waited. Patiently.
As if words would
destroy us.
With each breath
came an untold…

Silence wrapped us
in a blanket,
smothering everything
that existed elsewhere.
She forbade Time
to move forward.
His words, which had
suffered for so long
under his tongue,
now floated above
our heads openly.

I had watched them
rip at his soul.
Sense (or was it Fear?)
restrained my fingers
from touching his.
My tongue floundered
helplessly. So I listened.

Silence plucked his words
from the air and, with
her gentle fingertips,
pressed them against
his wounds. They bled.
And I knew he was alive.








In Between the Spaces

You are alive all around me
wrapped snuggly around my wrist
breathing horse sweat and leather.

I could fall in love with you.
And we would be epic.

I will unfold your arms
and open your chest
and watch your heart beat.

You will turn your face
from mine in shame and fear—
ashamed of the dark, ugly
crevices of your insides
and afraid that someone
would want to reach her fingers
and brush your living heart.

But the shadowed corners
that you hide from the world
gleam beautiful.
And you don’t always see it—
you’re afraid to
face the darkness.

But I will touch your heart
and breathe its pulse.
Lift your eyes to mine
and delve with me
into your shadows
and we will find your light.
We may sink at first—
drown in our own essence.
But I will grasp your hand
because you hold my heart.

And we will be.









Reeling

I would give you everything.
Sometimes I think I already have
because I need you here.
But I am angry at you
and I might hate you
at the moment because
I don’t know what you want.

And I hate that
I can’t find the words
to explain how you make
my head hurt and
my heart skip and
my eyes tear and
my nose crinkle and
my toes tap and
my heart break.

I hope you feel as
fucked up as I do
and wonder what’s
going to happen to us.
I hope I make your
mind pound
stomach flip
fingers tingle
mouth twitch
palms clammy
brows furrow
hands yearn
and heart break.

I hope I make you miserable
and I hope you suffer.
And I hope when you see me
your jaw slackens
and your breath stops.
I hope you realize
what you’ve been missing
and you discover what
I already know—
We are epic and we exist
on that distant horizon.

But I need to know.
Don’t light my hope
unless you want it to burn.